Meaningless Regret
by Fan515
Summary: Will is alive, and things are completely different. What will really happen if Will is alive? The story is like Divergent in Will's POV. Rated T just in case. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! This is my second fanfiction (the first one turned dry and crumbled), and it will be my second attempt in writing, also it's the first Divergent fanfic I ever wrote, therefore do not expect a high-quality story.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent. **

**Notes:  
1. Spoiler alert **if anyone didn't read all of the books themselves. (Or seen the movie, but that's only the first book)**  
2. **The books didn't have Will's last name and official name. But during the Dauntless initiation, it seems like mostly everyone's names are shortened. Albert to Al, Beatrice to Tris and so on. So I made up an official name for Will, the character is still V. Roth's.**  
3.** The test will be different, I think copying the same scenarios from the book is boring since we already know what's going to happen.  
**4. **I plan to have this story up to the last book, Allegiant.  
**5. **Most of the story is based on the book than the movie.

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**Aptitude Test**

This is it. Where it determines the rest of my life. Where I belong, what I will be, what will be my aim, and what I will have to do. The aptitude test.

"William Xavier," the volunteer announces my name. I've waited a while since I'm on the bottom of the alphabetical list.

I am ready for this. How hard would this be? I assume there's no right or wrong answers compare the tests in school.

When I walked in, I see an Abnegation woman working setting up the equipment. It's as if it's set up to test ourselves, the room looks like a typical laboratory back in Erudite, with mirrors completely covering the walls. Luckily the volunteer who will be telling my results isn't an Erudite, I sort of feel relieved because I do not want someone that will make fun of my results after I finished the test.

"William Xavier?" the woman asks. Her voice is really formal as if she isn't supposed to put emotion in her words, Abnegation indeed. I replied, "Yes."

"My name is Natalie, the process will be simple and quick, please sit down and feel comfortable," she gestures towards the reclined seat in the middle of the room. Then she immediately turns back to her work.

I stiffly sat down, the seat is a bit hard. Well, I do not expect sofas for an aptitude test. This is nothing to be comfortable and relaxed about.

She turns towards me with wires in her hand and an antiseptic cloth. She applies the antiseptic and then the electrode which connect to a computer beside me.

"Lie down," she said. I lie down and rested my head on the headrest. She hands me a vial, it's full of transparent liquid; I thought it was water till I noticed the viscosity. "Drink it," she told me. I hesitated for a moment but then I thought if something does happens to me, it won't be my fault. I drank it. "The simulation will go in effect in 5 seconds. Good luck." And that was the last thing I heard.

* * *

When I woke up, I noticed I'm not in the room anymore. I'm on an island, stranded on an island. There is nothing; no vegetation or anything, just white sand and saltwater. The sky is clear with few puffs of cloud, and the solar radiation is full on. I'm barefoot and the sand is so hot I jumped, so I walked along the shoreline to prevent sunburning my feet. Then I felt something smooth and solid beneath my feet, a glass bottle. It's a typical wine bottle I suppose, I hold it in my hands, and I see there's a strip of paper inside it. On the paper it said, "Choose." I was confused for a second but when I look up, there is a water well on the island, and there is a little girl in the water, drowning. A voice repeats, "Choose." If I choose the well, I will survive longer but I'm not sure whether that much water will support me till when. If I choose the girl, I will have a burden of trying to keep both myself and her alive. But maybe she can help me as well, you never know what good deeds will bring. I do believe in karma. "Choose!" the voice snaps. I dive into the water and I saved the girl from dying. The well disappeared.

When I got to the island, the girl smiles and the whole scene disappears. I'm now in a hospital room, I'm sitting beside a bed, surrounded by curtains. The person lying down is somehow familiar. The heartbeat monitor is beeping slowly, I know for a fact that he will past away soon or later. I overheard a couple of people outside the curtain, "I think he killed the person. I will contact the security." I killed this person? I don't think I ever seen this guy. I continue to study the person who's injured in front of me trying to figure out who it really is, but nothing pops up.

It felt like an instant later, two guards pinned me down, one on each of my side, my arms can't move. "You are under arrest," one of them said as my hands are handcuffed. I breathed calmly to let them know I am not guilty, fear is a sign of dishonesty. But I need to get out of here, I _am _innocent. As they got me up, I kicked at the guard who's just about to get up and I shoved my knee into the solar plexus of the other one standing. I could've escaped but more guards came in, like a pack of wolves they held me. This time instead of guiding me to the detention room, they carried me over their shoulders, so I can't move at all. I tried putting all my strength to knock out some of the guards holding my feet but their grip is strong and tight.

They got me to a room with a mirror window, well I assume it's a window. It's reflecting on the inside but on the outside it's completely transparent like glass for others to observe me. And I assume it's a soundproof room as well, since all I hear is my silent breathing. A Candor man came in, wearing the typical white-and-black outfit like all others, with a thick folder in his hand and sat down in the seat in front of me. He opens the folder; the paper on top of everything else is my biography and picture, looks into the papers, scanning through every page and speaks as he does it.

"Do you know why you are arrested?"

"I can't be sure why, because I never seen the victim before."

"The victim is a relative of a faction representative. And by current information, you _are_ the suspect."

"How did the victim die? What is the evidence?"

"You're not giving yourself up are you?"

"No, I am not. I never killed anyone." I almost snapped but I contained my anger.

"Very well, then what's the reason you ended up in the hospital room with the victim?"

"I just woke up in that place, and I see the monitor showing the heartbeat slowly decreasing."

"You're lying."

"No, I am not." I snapped.

"If you continue, you will be executed."

I shudder, but I think he is threatening me; forcing me to tell the truth. I decide to backfire the threat, "Go ahead, behead me."

* * *

I wake to the sound of the computer. I am back in the room. Back in reality. I look up to see the mirror in front of me, Natalie is behind me, motionless for a few milliseconds. That must mean something, that _must _mean something. I am not Erudite, I feel guilt inside my stomach. Maybe I didn't have an aptitude of Dauntless, which is also a faction I hoped for.

"Excuse me for a few minutes, William, I will be back," she says, and then she walks out of the room. I don't know if it was me or not but I see a bit of rush in her footsteps, as if there was a major problem.

I put my head back in the headrest and rethink the scenarios in the test. The last scenario, it was illogical to delay the answer. The arrogance in my voice makes me sound like someone who doesn't care about anyone but myself. I did tell the truth, but I did not clarify it. I almost end up arguing with the person.

Ugh, my mind is a mess. I can't literally figure out the correct outcomes of my actions because I'm the one who's in the test. The one who knows what my real aptitude will be Natalie and that will be her job, not mine. I close my eyes and try to empty my mind from recent memory with a thought. _I belong in a faction, I will not be factionless._

At last the door opens, and Natalie walks in holding a notepad. "Sorry for keeping you waiting," she apologizes. I sat up in my seat. She walks to my feet while tapping something on the notepad. She looks alarmed somehow.

Then she looks up from the screen. "Your results were vague," she stated slowly and quietly. _Vague? How can the results be vague? There is no right or wrong in the test._ "Usually, every scenario of the stimulation rules out a faction or more. But four factions didn't get eliminated."

I nodded slowly, I understand that clearly. But I want to hear my results.

"The first scenario was quite complicated. Your thoughts are clearly Erudite. But you chose an illogical way to survive than a more logical way, which counts Erudite out. If you choose drinkable water source, Dauntless, Abnegation will be eliminated. " She focus her eyes on the notepad again, I still can't completely understand what she is trying to say. "The second and last scenario was also confusing because you didn't care about the victim, which ruled out Abnegation. But in the previous scenario, you gave yourself up to save someone's life. As for Candor, you were between "on the fence" and dishonest. And Dauntless, you saved the girl and fought with the guards, but you gave up when you got arrested. Amity is definitely ruled out because you couldn't keep peace."

"So you're saying you do not know what my aptitudes are," I asked. _How come? What did I do wrong?_

"True and false. The final result," she clarifies, "is that you have strong equivalent aptitudes for Erudite and Dauntless." I blanked out, how am I going to choose between those two factions?

"And those people who display more than one aptitude are called…" she checks her surroundings carefully and then looks at me, "Divergents." The last word was really hard to hear but I can tell from her mouth movement. The word is often mentioned from Jeanine Matthews. She carefully whispers with eye contact, "No matter what the situation is, do not tell _anybody_ about your results." Her tone was very serious, as if it was confidential information I just heard.

She looks at me as if I didn't catch what she is trying to say. I thought she was joking a bit.

"No," she pauses and once again checks her surroundings, "Divergence threatens the system and the society, any information on someone who's Divergent, and they will be killed immediately. Do you understand?" I nod slowly, twice.

"I think it will be better if you go back home," Natalie suggests, "having others asking about your results will pressure you to say them. Go home, let it sink in, and make your choice tomorrow."

I walked out of the room, to choose between two things you want to be is difficult. Either I sacrifice my family and faction for a new one, or not. I look back at the room again as I close the door, she is working on the screen again, ignoring everything else. I reevaluate the situation again, if my results were that classified, she would've just told the system and I will be dead. But I think she is not Abnegation for nothing, Abnegation do not selfishly kill people just because they're someone totally different. I should not either.

I walk out of the school building. The Choosing Ceremony crossed my mind. If I choose to stay in my faction, my family and surrounding people will notice there is something odd about me and they will find out my Divergence. If I choose Dauntless, I have to go through stimulation again and possibly it will show my Divergence as well.

Either found out by emotion or by system, whichever. I bumped into something solid and burning, I've been spacing out, and I noticed I bumped into the sculpture that the Dauntless kids climb every recess.

Then I though being someone totally different is not a bad idea. After all, faction before blood.

* * *

More chapters are coming. Please be patient =D Thank you so much!


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long wait. I had to do some research lol.**

* * *

**Decision**

I came home about the usual time I come home. I'm supposed to be early but before I came home, I visited the library; or so to say the Erudite headquarters. It might be the last time I'll be in there. Endless rows of book shelves and computers stretching from corner to corner, people wearing blue are always here day to night, always extremely silent and careful not to disturb others.

The library will be where Erudite initiates mostly be, studying and trying to get accepted into the faction. This will be where I will be trying to be accepted if I choose my faction. But I don't think I have that particular potential of studying the rest of my life. I may be smart, but that does not mean I am intelligent.

One of the statements in Erudite Manifesto says everything about us. "Knowledge is the only logical solution to the problem of conflict." Logical means the answer can be determined without human feelings. Take Jeanine Matthews for instance, I have a feeling she has a love for knowledge and for knowledge only. She does not care about other people, she cares about the system and how we are able to survive as if she is taking care of lab species. I understand that she is making everything possible to be parallel to what our ancestors left us, but I think she's also cold and isolated in the process.

But that's why there are five factions instead of just one, like an ecosystem. Instead of one specific species living, it must need other species to survive sustainably. Missing one faction, the society will collapse.

Will I study or fight the rest of my life while keeping my Divergence hidden? I do not know the answer.

I ended up deciding to study stimulation serum and brain function when I was in the library. There is a rule that "information must always be made available to all faction members at all times", therefore the development and process of the stimulation serum can be searched. I hoped I read the actual information instead of fake ones because _all _information means both real and fake.

The brain is made up of four parts: the cortex (cerebrum), cerebellum, limbic system, and brain stem. Cortex is the largest part of the brain, link to higher brain function like thought and action. And it's composed of four different sections called lobes: frontal, parietal, occipital and temporal.

Frontal cortex is responsible for the organization of your thoughts (including problem solving, reasoning, planning, and parts of speech) and actions.

Parietal cortex is responsible for movement, orientation and recognition.

Occipital cortex is responsible for visual processing.

Temporal cortex is responsible for perception and recognition of auditory stimuli, memory, and speech.

Cerebellum is called the "little brain", it links to regulation and coordination of movement, posture and balance.

Limbic system is responsible for emotion and formation of memories; it's made up of four parts: thalamus, hypothalamus, amygdale and hippocampus.

Thalamus is responsible for sensory perception, regulation of motor functions.

Hypothalamus is responsible for emotion, thirst, hunger, and control of the nervous system.

Amygdala is responsible for memory, emotion and fear.

Hippocampus is essential for learning and memory.

The brain stem is in charge of vital life functions, which is composed of three parts: midbrain, pons, and medulla.

Midbrain controls what you see, hear, eye and body movement.

Pons is responsible for sensory analysis, and important for level of consciousness and sleep.

Medulla maintains vital body functions such as breathing.

I'm not able to stay longer to research more about the topic or else I'll get suspected by my sister, Cara, who works here that I'm up to something, especially when there are no examinations to study for.

But I think I've got the basics. I can theorize how it works, the stimulation serum.

The serum is injected into the side of the neck which enters our nervous system in order to access to the brain. The level of consciousness will be turned to subconscious because we aren't technically unconscious or awake, and that will be our Pons of the brain stem. Our fears are found in the amygdala of the limbic system, which is responsible for memory, emotion and fear. The information is then made into a hallucination, manipulating the occipital cortex (visual processing), midbrain (what we see and hear), thalamus (sensory perception), and Pons (sensory analysis). The rest of the brain will be normal and untouched, unless it's meant for other uses. And the hallucination will end once we lower our heart rates and control our breathing.

I saw a bit of the serum research that Divergents have larger prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for the organization of thoughts and actions to achieve goals. It's possible that Divergents have higher tendency of directing their thoughts and actions towards their goals. I'm just taking an estimate, but in conclusion, in those "fear landscape" stimulations, I should be less desperate to be obvious the fact I'm Divergent.

But less desperate to get away from fears… that's the meaning of Dauntless. I have to face my fears, no matter how much there is, maybe dozens. But I have to face them, it's the only way for me to be accepted as Dauntless.

Erudite housing is basically an apartment. It minimizes land space and space we don't actually need. An apartment is enough for a group of family to live, rest, eat and study. But the type of apartment depends on the size of the family. My family only has 4 members; my mother, my father, my sister and myself. And I'm the only one that hasn't been through Erudite initiation, nor decided the faction I want to really be in.

I walk into my bedroom, and collapse on my bed. I observe the room from where I am. A window with white blinds letting light that illuminates the entire room. Beside the window sits a work desk and a chair. The desk is stacked with books on one side, papers and notebooks on the other side, a lamp on the back left side, an analog clock on the back right side, writing utensils in the back center, and a center space for work. Beside the desk is a small bookshelf full of books from then and now; a notepad and hand-sized mirror rests on top of the bookshelf. A closet beside the bedroom door holds clothes with variety shades of blue, from light to dark.

If I choose to leave this faction, all of these things will likely be discarded. Because when I'm gone, I'm either going to be factionless or in one of the other factions.

I still can't clearly decide which faction, even though I've made my choice few hours ago. I'm sure I'm going to be in one because I would rather die than be factionless, honestly. Not living in a part of the society will make me vulnerable that the Erudites can found out immediately I'm Divergent once they search the factionless safe houses. That way I'm not able to protect myself from getting killed therefore I _have_ to stay in a faction.

I need to be persuade the society that I'm just a normal person. Not suspected, not creating awareness.

Not Divergent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi again, most parts of this chapter is based on the book. *I don't own the Divergent Trilogy***

* * *

**Choice**

Going to the Choosing Ceremony is a struggle. All sixteen-year-olds of all five factions have to be there. On the twentieth floor of the tallest building in the city. Something inside me wishes that I have an option of not going the ceremony, but I cannot stay young forever and nothing can "go back in time". Going to the ceremony is an act of bravery. Brave enough to be sure of your choice and brave enough to face the consequences.

The semi-circular ceremony room is distributed in sections sharing a center. On the podium are five large metal bowls. Each one holds a substance representing each faction: gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.

Before we all sat down, I face my entire family one last time. My sister hugs me lightly, wishing me good luck. My father puts his hands on my shoulders, "I will see you during the initiation." My mother hugs me tight and I felt a tear against my neck. I assume this is what a mother is; all they care about the most is their children. I feel guilt growing inside me the longer she holds me, I'm letting my parents down. And I don't want to hear anyone say it's okay because it is _not._ After she pulled away, she tells me, "Do not fear. Choose what you really want to be." She's saying it as if she won't be seeing the same me as before after today.

The room is finally settled, I suddenly feel anxious to get this over with. An Abnegation representative, Marcus, walks to the podium, clears his throat and begins the opening speech.

"_Welcome, welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world. Our dependents are not sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be. Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determine that is was the fault of human personality-of humankind's inclination towards evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray."_

The ancestors believe that the factions can work in harmony and eradicate conflict together, but it seems that all factions live independently. For instance, the negative reports about Abnegation wrote by my faction.

"_Those who blamed aggression formed Amity. Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite. Those who blamed duplicity created Candor. Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation. And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless. Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life. Apart from them, we would not survive. Therefore this day marks a happy occasion-the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will work with us toward a better society and a better world."_

Everyone applaused, the sound is muted with anxiety. Then the representative reads the names; one by one a sixteen-year-old will stand on the podium, cut their hand and make a decision. I'm not sure whether I'm ready to do this or not.

At last, my name is called. I rise from my seat and walk to the podium in slow and casual steps, the representative hands me a new knife and I stare at all the bowls in front of me. The bowls are arranged alphabetically so both Erudite and Dauntless are on my right. Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Erudite, Dauntless.

The blade digs into my skin, deep enough to release few drops of blood. I raise my hand between Erudite and Dauntless, unsure. I run through my thoughts one last time, then I noticed blood is about to drip into the water, I alter my hand to the left. The blood drops into the fire.

I've made my decision.

* * *

Guilt grows inside me as I walk to the Dauntless crowd, I have turned my back towards my family. After the last people make their choice, the ceremony has ended. Dauntless file out of the room, the crowd takes me with it.

I look back one last time, they are still sitting in their seats. I expect hate and anger from their looks but they are calm; shocked but calm. Cara mouthed, "Good luck." I guess they are telling me one thing, they want me to be who I am, just not be factionless. I realized that my parents are Erudite for a reason, they are wise.

I realized the Dauntless is using the stairs instead of the elevator. Suddenly everyone starts to run and the crowd turned wild. I follow along so I won't lose them. By the time we reached the first floor, I expect them to stop but they became wilder like a huge pack of dogs. We ran towards the train tracks where an incoming train is. Everyone started running along with the speed of the train and then they jump in. I see some people in the back struggling to catch on in the corner of my eye, I assume they are transfers. I grasp one of the handles and swing myself into the car. Then I feel out of place, an outlier, because I'm the only one wearing blue out of the group of black. I've jumped into a car full of Dauntless member. Ignoring that fact, I look outside of the car. Everything close to the train is just a blur, the buildings move slowly, this is a different view compare to an apartment view. I never travelled anywhere by a train before.

After a few moments, the train reduced its speed, but it's still fast. Then members behind me start to walk towards the doors. As the train passes a rooftop, they jump. I hesitated as I see how high I am from ground level, if I don't make it, I'll end up dead falling from seven stories. I move back towards the car, sprint towards the exit and jump as high and far as I can. My toes touch the ground first but I lost my balance so I fall forward, scraping my knees and my arms. The gravel hurts, but I was glad it wasn't pavement, that will hurt much more. Especially then there isn't much support that can soften the impact.

Then I heard a scream. I jerk my head towards the sound. A Dauntless girl staring at the ground below, and a Dauntless boy holds her so she doesn't fall and comforts her. If she must scream and cries like that, it must be something terrible. I ignore the sobs and inspect my wounds. The skin is scratched but it's not bleeding, good. This is Dauntless, the leaders test our limits and see whether if we can make up to their expectations. It won't be easy if they meant both physical and mental limits, but I have to pass the initiation.

"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!" shouts a man with dark skin and clues of gray hair. He stands on the edge as if it's the ground, ignoring the fact he can fall to his death. "Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

"You want us to jump off a _ledge_?" asks a girl wearing blue I recognize as Myra. I guess she has a fear of heights if the information shocks her that much.

"Yes," said Max.

"Is there water at the bottom or something?"

"Who knows?" He raises both his eyebrows.

The crowd splits in half allowing a path for anyone to jump. No one walks towards the ledge. I brush dust from my clothes pretending I'm busy; I will not jump unless someone goes first.

Then someone walks towards the ledge, a Stiff. I think I've seen enough Stiffs that attract attention for one day. She stands on the edge and look down, examining the entrance. The wind is strong up here that her clothes snap, she takes off her shirt, balls it up and throws it hard at a Candor boy. Noise rise around me, I guess they expect her to scare her guts out. But she doesn't, she jumps without a sound. It was just silence till I hear an impact of sound, it's not a thud so it's definitely not ground. It sounds like a trampoline someone jumped on. My body relaxes and step forward. But a dark-skinned Candor girl got there first. Max stops her for a few seconds and then sets his arm down. She jumps, her scream follows her down, fading as she falls and then it stops. There's the spring sound again, it can be a net.

I walk towards the ridge, tense, and I count in my head. My body shakes. 5. I will not die. 4. Two people already jumped. 3. It's the Dauntless leaders fault if I don't make it. 2. There no turning back. 1. I jump.

I never liked the feeling of free falling but that's what I'm feeling right now. I'm falling into darkness. Then my back hits something solid and the impact made me groan. My limbs sting.

I look around and I guessed it right, it's a net. I hear cheers around me. I look up to see where I jumped from and chuckle.

Then hands stretches out to me from the sides of the net, I grasp one of them and got myself out of the net. My knees wobble as I stand but I stabilized myself.

"What's your name?" someone asks. I pause at the question. Things are not entirely formal here so I do not need to provide my full name. And it's better for them not to know who I really am, so I came up with a name.

"Will," I replied decisively.

"Welcome to Dauntless!" one of them says, and then someone else drops into the net. Dauntless…I've just done an act of bravery.

I just faced one of my fears.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note* Italicized means it came from the book. **

* * *

**Dauntless**

Once every initiate has done jumping, two people I assume to be our instructors lead us down a narrow stone tunnel. The tunnel is barely lit. The distance between each light source is really wide, and the lights are dim. I almost thought we are walking down a mine tunnel.

Then everyone stopped. "_This is where we divide_," Lauren says. "_The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place._" She smiles and walks away with the Dauntless-borns. Then I noticed that there are 9 transfers, the rest are from Dauntless; one from Abnegation, four Candors, and three Erudites (including me).

Then another person addresses. "_Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor. My name is Four_."

A Candor girl, who jumped before me, asks, "_Four? Like the number?_"

"_Yes_," Four says. "_Is there a problem_?"

"_No_."

"_Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It -_"

"_The Pit? Clever name_." She snickers.

Four then walks up to Christina and leans his face close to hers, narrowing his eyes and staring her down. He somehow reminds me of a predator staring down at a prey. Cold and fearless as if he has the authority to do anything.

"_What's your name_?" he says.

"_Christina,_" she squeaks.

"_Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction_," he hissed. "_The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?_"

Wow, a way to shut up a Candor. Well, some Candors just blurt out every thought they have, both positive and negative. I think those don't have respect as much.

We continue down the tunnel in silence. I hear Christina mumble, "_What a jerk_." And the person beside her who I recognize as the first jumper, Tris, replies, "_I guess he doesn't like to be laughed at_." Who doesn't like to be laughed at?

Four opens a set of doors, and we walk into "the Pit."

It is an enormous underground cavern with uneven rock walls several stories up. Narrow paths and steps are carved from the rock connect places in the stone walls. There are no railings or barriers, I feel annoyed by it. I see that it's Dauntless but not even the slightest simple protection is provided? Jeez.

Glass forms the roof of the Pit and above that is a building that reflects sunlight in the Pit. Blue lanterns hangs in the ceiling in random order, and they grow brighter as sun sets.

This place reminds me of a wolf cave, never seen one but there are visuals in the textbooks, people all dressed in black are everywhere, kids run around like crazy ignoring the hazards, the room is full of noise, and so on.

"_If you follow me_," says Four, "_I'll show you the chasm_." Why do they build a chasm for? I gulp. Four guides us to the right side of the Pit, and it's almost pitch black. The floor we stand on ends at an iron barrier, finally I see some protection. As we move closer to the edge, I hear water. It roars similar to a waterfall.

I look over, and the view almost panicked my heart out. The floor drops at a 90° angle down, and stories at the bottom is a river. The swift water impacts the rocks that I can feel water all the way up here. I already feel dizzy so I took few steps back from the railing.

"_The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy_!" Four shouts over the noise. "_A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned_."

So they're saying that we have to do a smart act of bravery instead of an act of idiocy. Instead of suicide for no reason, we should sacrifice ourselves for a reason. Great advice. Well, suicide _is _an act of cowardice.

Then we are led toward a gaping hole in the stone wall across the Pit. A dining hall. As we walk in, the Dauntless inside all stood up. They applaud, more like cheering since they are shouting, stomping their feet and pumping their fists in the air.

* * *

After supper, another leader led us down numerous hallways without giving us a clue. The hallways look the same as others so I bet I will have a trouble knowing where I need to go the first few days. I hope they will guide us.

The leader then stops before a wooden door, and speaks, "_For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric. I am one of five leaders of the Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteer to oversee most of your training._"

He looks no older than us, maybe 2 or 3 years but that is a very young age to be a leader of a faction. Maybe age doesn't matter anything here.

"_Some ground rules, you have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break of lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation_."

10 hours of training. I hope I can handle it. But I strongly assume that after six, we all will crash in our beds till next morning.

''_You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless_," he continues. "_Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notices that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipated that a higher proportion of you would make it this far_."

"_But we started with twelv_e," someone blurts out. I noticed that it's Christina again. I hope she can learn her lesson quickly because if not, she will probably get thrown out of Dauntless. Because Eric is different than Four.

"_There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound_," Eric says. "_Anyway, in the first stage of training, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in the comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect-_"

"Rankings?" asks Myra. "_Why are we ranked_?"

Eric smiles, "_Your ranking serves two purposes. The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available. The second purpose is that only the top ten initiates are made members._"

I froze at the last sentence.

"What?" Christina cries out.

"_There are eleven Dauntless-borns, and nine of you_," Eric explains. "_Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test._"

"_What do we do if we're cut?_" says a Candor boy with dark hair, Peter.

"_You leave the Dauntless compound_," replies Eric, "_and live factionless_."

"_But that's … not fair_!" says another Candor girl, Molly. "_If we had known-"_

"_Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?_" snaps Eric. "_Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward._" He pushes open the dormitory door. "_You chose us, now we have to choose you_," Eric adds.

_Only_ 50% of the initiates are members and the possibilities aren't that high.

I will _not_ be factionless, no matter what.


	5. Chapter 5

**Italicized means it's from the book. Have fun reading!**

* * *

**First Stage**

That morning, everyone changed into black clothes and threw out their old faction clothes. I kept my spectacles in my dresser without anyone noticing. It may be weird keeping glasses but it reminds me of the vision of being an Erudite. I may never be behind a desk and looking through stacks of papers ever again.

Nobody slept well last night so all of us feel sleepy as we walk into the training room. Once we're all there, we stand in a line with our backs to a wall of targets.

"_The_ _first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight_." Four says as he passes out guns. "_Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that_."

Basics first, this is going to be a difficult day.

"_Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time. We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear_," Four continues. "_Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental_."

"_But what …_" Peter yawns as he speaks. "_What does firing a gun have to do with … bravery_?"

Four turns the gun in his hand, presses the barrel to Peter's forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. Peter pauses, frozen in place.

"_Wake. Up_," Four snaps. "_You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it_." Then he lowers the gun. Candor and Dauntless seriously don't mix. From what I've seen, Candors does not ever shut their mouth.

"_And to answer your question … you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're pretending to defend yourself_." He stops walking and turns. "_This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me._"

He does a demonstration. His feet are apart to steady himself from the impact, held the gun with both hands to have a better aim, and fires. It went right through the middle.

Then we all turn to our targets and fire. I hear bangs everywhere, making my ears ring. I missed numerous times till I hit the target. Tris, who is next to me, made more shots than me but still didn't hit the target, she seems a bit frustrated.

"_Statistically speaking, you should've hit the target at least _once _by now, even by accident_," I told her, grinning in the process.

"_Is that so_," she replies.

"_Yeah_," I respond. "_I think you're actually defying nature_."

She tries again, this time it hit the edge of the target, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"_So you see, I'm right. That stats don't lie_," I say.

She gives a small smile and returns to her target. After five rounds, she hits the middle of the target.

It sort of surprised me, but I think that's why she chose to leave Abnegation. Because she's not fit for it.

Even though she does not know the consequences of Dauntless initiation, but it seems like she's confident of passing.

* * *

When it's time for lunch, everyone fled to the dining hall. Well, who's not hungry when you didn't eat anything for 4 hours? I grabbed my lunch and look for available seats. Sitting alone will make people think I have no friends and easy to get beaten up without anyone noticing. Sitting with the Candor transfers aren't a good idea, I mean they blabber everything out, good stuff and bad stuff altogether. Sitting with the two Erudites transfers aren't a good idea either, they're dating so I have no reason what's so ever to interrupt. I know none of the Dauntless members or Dauntless-born initiates, so that's not a good option.

There's only the Abnegation-Candor transfer group composed of three people. Well, Christina invited Al to sit with them which makes it three. I walk over to their table, and ask them, "Mind if I sit here?"

"What, don't like to hang out with your Erudite buddies?" Christina replies.

"I'm not friends with them," I say as I set my plate down. "We were in the same faction but that doesn't mean we get along. Plus, those two are dating, and I have no interest being in a third wheeler."

Christina, Al, and Tris look in their direction, observing them. Christina and Al shrug and continue eating. Tris looks away and hisses, "Do they have to do that in public?"

"_She just kissed him_," Al frowns at her. "_It's not like they're stripping naked_."

"But that's not something you do in public."

Then we all look at her, giving the same expression.

"What?" she asks.

"_Your Abnegation is showing_," Christina tells her. "_The rest of us are all right with a little affection in public_."

"Oh. Well…I guess I'll have to get over it then," Tris shrugs.

"_Or you can stay frigid,_" I say. "_You know, if you want._" Christina threw a roll at me, I catch it and bite it.

"_Don't be mean to her. Frigidity is in her nature. Sort of like being a know-it-all is in yours._" Christina says.

"_I am not_ frigid!" Tris proclaimed.

"_Don't worry about it. It's endearing. Look, you're all red_," I say to her.

Her cheeks turned even darker shade at that comment, we laugh at her.

* * *

Four led us to a different room after lunch. It's a large room with training equipment set up throughout the room. Faded punching bags, mats and a chalkboard with our names listed alphabetically.

"_As I said this morning_," Four says, "_next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges – which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless. We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other. So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt._"

Hand-to-hand combat…great. Something I know I'll be okay with. I've been studying it with Edward since we were 10.

Four shows us a few different punches and moves, and then demonstrates aganist the punching bag.

When all of us practice, it's uncomfortable and awkward at first but when I got the feeling of it, it wasn't that hard. But the punching bag is tough like I'm punching a wall except with cushion, the impact numbs my hands and feet.

By the end of practice, we're dismissed for dinner. My knuckles are partly bruised but they're not that bad.

Once we reach the Pit, Al turns around and says, "_I want to get a tattoo._"

I ask him, "_A tattoo of what?_"

"_I don't know. I just want to feel like I've actually left the old faction. Stop crying about it._" He chuckles. When we didn't reply, he adds, "_I know you've heard me._"

"_Yeah, learn to quiet down, will you?_" Christina pokes him. "_I think you're right. We're half in, half out right now. If we want all the way in, we should look the part._" She eyes Tris and gives her a look.

"_No. I will not cut my hair or dye it in a strange color. Or pierce my face," _she disagrees.

"_How about your bellybutton?_" Christina asks her.

She groans.

Later, when Christina and Tris met up with Al and me in the tattoo parlor, both of them looks completely different from the Candor and Abnegation transfers yesterday.

Well, no matter how big the changes are. They still change who we are.

The next morning, it's the first day we are fighting each other.

"_Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today,_" Four announces, and steps away from our view to see the chalkboard. I'm fighting against Al. My mind turns into study mode immediately, going through his weaknesses, strengths and what I need to watch out for.

He is a foot taller than me, twice as built. Judging from his appearance, his hits will be strong but his movements will be slow.

I'm on the arena. I actually hoped that I'm in Tris' spot so I can observe everyone's strengths and weaknesses. But I'm not the one who's judging whether I'm fighting or not, I'm going to fight someone anyways.

Al punched hard me in the jaw. The blow blurred my vision, but I manage to block his next punch. I trip one of his legs and he loses his balance. The time he took to regain his balance gave me time to recover my vision. We shuffled around for the next few minutes, hesitant. I'm waiting for his next blow, why is he stopping? Eric shouts as he gets impatient, "_Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for napping time? Fight each other!_"

"_But_…" Al letting his hands down and asks, "_Is it scored or something? When does the fight end?_"

"_It ends when one of you is unable to continue_," Eric replies.

"_According to Dauntless rules, one of you could also concede,_" Four says.

"_According to the _old _rules. In the _new _rules, no one concedes,_" Eric narrows his eyes.

"_A brave man acknowledges the strength of others_," Four replies, ignoring Eric's anger.

"_A brave man never surrenders._" Both of them stare at each other, it's as if they are rivals.

Al then breaks the silence, "_This is ridiculous, what is the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!_"

I can't take it anymore, he is showing himself to the leaders that he is a coward, "_Oh, you think it's going to be that easy? Go on. Try to hit me, slowpoke." _I raise my hands to my face.

He throws out a punch, I dodge it. He tries punching me again, I duck out of the way, slipping behind him and kick him hard in the back. Al turns and charge at me, I see anger in his eyes, he grips my arm hard to keep me from dodging and hits me again in the jaw the same as the first one.

I passed out.

* * *

When I woke up, an ice pack is put against the right side of my jaw where I was punched twice. Al sits in a seat, looking at me. My back is so stiff and I'm sure I heard it crack as I sit up.

"You alright?" He asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply, "I look messed up right?"

"Not as bad as Christina. Most of her face was covered in blood."

"She lost?" I widen my eyes.

"She gave up. And then Eric challenges her to hang over the chasm for five minutes to see whether she is brave or not. And she proved him."

A really harsh punishment. Refusal will make you factionless. Failure will make you die. But I'm glad she succeeded.

"I see. What's up with Eric not having mercy at all?" I chuckle.

"I don't know. Because he is the leader of Dauntless?" He laughs too.

But just then I noticed something about Eric. He doesn't care about honor or respect, he just wants to know the limits of what we can do. When we were fighting, he looks like he's observing everything we can do and recording results. I have a theory that he is an Erudite.

"What time is it?" I ask Al.

He checks his watch. "Near nighttime," he answers, "You should rest, who knows what we are going to be doing tomorrow."

"Right, I'll be fighting with someone that's for sure." I snort.

Al laughs and then he leaves the room.

If Eric is from Erudite, I have to be on my utmost attention, especially during the next and final stages of initiation because that is where stimulations are involved.

And I am one of their targets.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks AgganLe02 for following!  
**

* * *

**Visiting Day**

After four days of fighting, one day of field trip knowing Dauntless jobs and playing Capture the Flag, and one day of throwing knifes.

It's Visiting Day.

My head feels heavy as I remember the Choosing Ceremony, the day I left my old faction and family.

Everyone else stayed silent the whole morning. No one smiles, because we all know that we might not get to see our family in the Pit. Then Eric walks in and announces.

"_Attention! I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your families do come to visit you…which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be _shameful. _Understand?_"

I think we all understand, Eric. Who doesn't know the phrase "faction before blood"? Well, unless they are mentally, ridiculously disoriented people called idiots. "We are Dauntless and we need to act accordingly" was the message of his speech.

We walk out of the dormitory and into the Pit. The entire room is packed with people from all factions. I try to spot anyone familiar in blue. Two groups of people dressed in blue, Edward's and Myra's. I continue to scan until I recognize someone wearing a blue dress with the same hair colour like mine, Cara. She saw me when I was half-way across the floor, and smiles.

She didn't embrace me, I'm relieved. I'm in no mood for an embrace from a family that I chose to leave, yet. But the rules are strict, I'm not supposed to be attached to my family especially when they aren't in the same faction I'm in right now. She puts one of her hand on my shoulder.

"How are you, Will?" she asked me.

"I'm alright. Bruised, sore but above all else, I'm stable throughout the beginning of the initiation," I replied.

"That's good," she sighed.

"How are our parents?"

"They are busy, so they weren't able to see you. But you know they won't argue or cry their hearts out over something that they were prepared for." I know what she meant. My parents are prepared for this to happen; one of their children chose to leave their faction. But that doesn't make me feel any better. I'm an empty space at home that they can't replace, my presence of growing up in Erudite will linger in their memory.

"They want you to be proud and confident of who you are and what you want to be. And it doesn't you mean have to be an Erudite like me," she added. I nodded and looked down.

"How are you?" I asked her.

"Same as always, you know research."

"Ah, I see."

"Made friends?"

"Yes," I show her where Christina and Tris are. I can't find Al since this morning, odd.

Then Tris and her mother walk towards Christina and me. They seem extremely similar, besides the fact that they look almost identical. Same smile, same gestures, same expressions.

"Will, Christina, this is my mother, Natalie," she introduces her mother. Her mother extends her hand and I shook it. She's really stiff and uncomfortable at the gesture.

Christina introduces her mother and sister, and I introduced Cara. But then I noticed Cara has a sour expression and a cold glare. She eyes Tris' mother with hate.

"_I can't believe you associate with one of _them,_ Will,_" she hissed at me. Natalie looks like she swallowed something weird, biting the inside of her cheek, but not saying anything about it and tries to hide her expression.

"_Cara, there's no need to be _rude," I frown.

"_Oh, certainly not. Do you know what she is? She's a council member's _wife _is what she is. She runs the 'volunteer agency' that supposedly helps the factionless. You think I don't know that you're just hoarding good to distribute to your own faction while _we _don't get fresh food for a month, huh? Food for the factionless, my eye._" She protests. I sigh and cover one side of my face with my hand.

"_I'm sorry, I believe you are mistaken,_" Natalie says lightly.

"_Mistaken. Ha, I'm sure you're exactly what you seem. A faction of happy-go-lucky do-gooders without a selfish bone in their bodies. Right_."

"_Don't speak to my mother that way,_" Tris says, angered, and threatens, "_Don't say another word to her or I swear I will break your nose_."

"_Back off, Tris. You're not going to punch my sister,_" I told her, blocking my sister while saying it.

"_Oh? You think so?_" she replies, raising both her eyebrows.

"_No, you're not. Come on, Beatrice. We wouldn't want to bother your friend's sister,_" her mother says and grabs her shoulder, dragging her away with speed.

"Are you serious, Will?" Cara turns to me, with her eyes wide.

"Hey, she may be Abnegation but it doesn't mean she is influenced completely that she has the same mind as those council members. And also she is clearly _not _an Abnegation right now," I tell her.

"But _her _parents are responsible for us not having fresh products," she snaps.

"So what?" I ask her, "Why can't you just write a report on their faction just like what others have done, or threaten her to death?" She pauses. And as she about to respond, I add, "Can those two ways solve the problem of not gaining access to resources?"

"No," she responds, as if she's deflated out of words.

"Do you _actually_ know that all Abnegation households have those goods?"

"Not entirely, I only heard it from rumors from my co-workers," she looks down. I sigh, taking a deep breath and exhale.

"You know," I slowly state, "it's an act of ignorance."

"I realized that," she says, "most Erudites these days are ignorant. It's completely against the faction manifesto. They think they know everything because there is always information but they never look carefully at the information." I didn't expect her to say that but I nod and we both fell silent. If we are heard, we might be thrown out of Erudite. Things aren't what it supposed to be and that's true. There's just no actions because we all fear war. Fear our society will collapse and no one is safe from harm.

"I hate to say this but I have to go," Cara says, "I don't think I can stay here any longer."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, 'faction before blood'." Attachment is not allowed, I know that. But she says it like it's poison.

I roll my eyes, and say, "Tell mom and dad I'm doing alright, I don't want to worry them."

"They won't be, I promise," she tells me, "good luck on the rest of the initiation." And just like that she's gone. I won't see her in a while or might never see her again, depends on where I stand on the rankings.

I go to the dining hall to find some breakfast, I haven't eaten since I woke up and I taste acid in my mouth. Starvation or skipping a meal is never good for your health.

It's unusual to see some of the dining hall empty, it's usually all packed with barely any seats left but today is Choosing Day and I assume most of the parents and relatives want to see their children.

I sat there waiting for my friends to be done with their reunion, today is a day off and I don't think spending it alone is a smart choice. That will be a waste of time.

* * *

Having a conversation on our reunions will kill the noise, so the final rankings are all we can talk about.

But Christina and me got into a conversation about having pets which I have no idea how and why she brings it up.

"How come you're not allowed to have _pets?_" she orders.

"Because they are illogical," I say, bored, "_What is the point in providing food and shelter for an animal that just soils your furniture, makes your home smell, and ultimately dies?_" In Erudite's case, I don't think animals aren't even called pets, they are called subjects instead. And I'm not interested of studying a bunch of animals.

"_The _point _is…_" her voice trails off, pauses and then says. "_Well, they're fun to have. I had a bulldog named Chunker. One time we left a whole roasted chicken on the counter to cool, and while my mother went to the bathroom, he pulled it down off the counter and ate it, bones and skin and all. We laughed so hard._" I feel annoyed.

"Yes, that fact really changes my opinion. Obviously I want to have an animal that depletes all the food sources and completely damages the kitchen." I shake my head, there's no point arguing about something stupid like this. "_Why don't you just get a dog after initiation if you're feeling that nostalgic?_"

"It's because." Her smile fades, and stabs her food. "_Dogs are sort of ruined for me. After … you know, after the aptitude test._"

We all look at each other. It's important not to mention the test or our results, but the fact that we all have chosen, they see no reason hiding that information. But the fact that we all have different simulations and scenarios, I don't quite understand what she's saying. But it's kind of obvious. I hope I won't leak any evidence that I didn't get an absolute aptitude for Dauntless, that I'm a Divergent.

I think for a second.

Ah, no wonder she doesn't want a dog anymore. "Do you mean … killing the dog?" I ask.

"Yeah, I mean you guys all had to do that too, right?" she says. She eyes Al, then at Tris. She narrows her eyes and says, "_You _didn't." Good, the focus isn't on me, because I did not have any scenarios related to a dog.

"_Hmm?_" Tris replies, as if she did not hear that.

"_You're hiding something, you're fidgeting."_

"_What?_"

"_In Candor, we learn to read body language so we know when someone is lying or keeping something from us_," Al says, nudging Tris with his elbow.

"_Oh, well…_" she scratches the back of her neck.

"_See, there it is again!_" Christina points at her.

"No, I didn't do anything that has to involve with a dog."

"What?! How?"

"I think we all have different scenarios in the test," I say, "Because I didn't either."

"Why?"

"The people that designed the test make it so that even when we talk about it afterwards, we all won't have the same answer."

"Huh." Christina shrugs, and eats her potato. "Then what did you guys do?"

"Umm, we were put on an island and asked to choose between water well and saving a child from drowning." Tris answers.

"That's an odd scenario, I mean the water isn't deep right?"

"The island is like a rock cliff out of nowhere, and plus the girl was dozens of meters away."

"Ooookay … now that's something." Then she adds, "What aptitude did you get?"

"Abnegation, not Dauntless."

"But why choose Dauntless?"

"_I told you, it was the food,_" she answers, smirking.

Christina laughs. "_Did you guys know that Tris had never seen a hamburger before she came here?_"

Both Al and I shake our heads, and Christina went into a full story of what happened the first day we came into the Dauntless compound. She sure talks a lot, chatterbox much.

We go back to the dormitory after dinner, and I feel tense because we will see our current rankings. There's a crowd in front of Four, a chalkboard with the back facing us leans against his legs. He has to say a speech first? Great.

"_For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined, after the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice."_ He pauses and scans the crowd.

"_If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent. Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice, that said it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation of you rank low in stage one. We will announce the cuts tomorrow, the fact you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of them. Or four of them could be factionless and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks._" He then hangs the board on the hook and steps out from our view.

1. Edward

2. Peter

3. Will

Third, that's good. Better than first because some people will want to take them down for being the best. No one will look below second place, especially the bottom of the list.

4. Christina

5. Molly

6. Tris

7. Drew

8. Al

9. Myra

Christina, Tris and Al passes. Al isn't last, but unless the Dauntless-born initiates have people who completely failed stage one, he is currently factionless.

Almost everyone seems to have a frown look on their faces. The silence in the room is tense.

Then it breaks.

"What?" Molly shouts, and points at Christina. "_I beat her! I beat her in _minutes_, and she's ranked _above me?"

"Yeah," says Christina, smirks, "So?"

"_If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents_," Four states, rising above the noise from other initiates. He pockets the chalk in his hand and walks out of the room.

Peter's expression shows that he isn't satisfied with his rank, clearly. I have a feeling something is going to happen soon.

I high-fived Christina, and clap Tris on her shoulder and grinning, "_Look at you. Number six._"

"_Still might not have been good enough._"

"_It will be, don't worry, we should celebrate!_" I say.

"_Well, let's go, then," _Christina agrees, grabbing Tris and Al with each of their hand. "_Come on, Al. You don't know how the Dauntless-borns did. You don't know anything for sure._"

"_I'm just going to go to bed_," Al mumbles, pulling away.

When walking out of the dormitory, it's easy to forget all the uneasiness. But then I thought later in the initiation, I will have to complete against my friends in order to stay in the top 10. I hope I won't have to do something I did when I fought against Al or Christina. I don't want to make themselves look bad just because I'm in third or have a higher rank.

Avoiding karma is not easy.

* * *

**More chapters are coming. I'm basically writing a chapter every two or three days, so hopefully the wait won't be long. Thank you for your patience!**

**And please review, I need to know whether I should continue this story or not. If it's bad, review it. Good? Review it. Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Deepest apologies, had sleep deprivation and eye infection. The next chapter will be posted soon, I just have to finish it.**

**Also this story reached over 150 viewers! Thank you everyone for your interest and support!**

* * *

**Incident  
**

That night, I got awaken by a piercing sound in the dormitory, a scream. A dying scream. It makes the hair on my back stand, it does not sound good. Then there's another scream.

"_Turn on the lights!_" someone shouts.

I sat up looking in the direction of the scream. The lights switched on, down a few bunks I see a pool of blood, someone on the ground screaming, and Tris on her knees by the victim. It's Edward.

Myra who stands beside him screams, then there's a scream from someone else, someone yells for help, and someone vomited. It's chaos.

Tris tries to comfort Edward, but he keeps yelling and screaming. Two beds are empty, Drew and Peter's.

I got out of my bed, rush out of the room barefooted to the infirmary and called one of the nurses it's an emergency. On my way back, I see two figures at the chasm against the metal railing, talking. If they are thinking they can act casual and pretend they know nothing about the incident, they are dumb.

Well, Peter is all about being "fair", all his actions are based on "fairness".

I better not get involved or else I am the next victim.

When I got back, Edward is on the way to the infirmary with Myra following behind him, and Christina and Tris were scrubbing the blood mess. The second I see the blood, I shudder and looked away. I'm not a fan of blood and I will not look at blood in large amounts, therefore I refuse to help them, even though I wanted to.

No one slept the rest of that night.

Next morning, Christina and Al stayed in the dormitory to recharge themselves during daylight but I do not want to be in there again. Tris follows me out of the dormitory, I assume she doesn't want to be in there either.

"It will sound weird but I wish we don't have a day off," I say. She nods with agreement. The initiation training keep our mind focused and keeps our attention from other things, but there's no training today and last night's incident became our focus of attention. We try to forget about it, but the more we forcefully say "I do not want to hear it", the more it is mentioned. The silence doesn't help at all to keep us distracted. We walk without knowing where we are going.

"_We could visit him. But what would we say? 'I didn't know you that well, but I'm sorry you got stabbed in the eye'?_" I said, suggesting. We laughed, half-heartily. It's either we cry or we laugh, crying seems ridiculously meaningless and so is laughing. But laughing it's the positive side that we need to be on, not negative.

"_I'm sorry, it's just so ridiculous_," she responds. True, people die and get hurt but the Dauntless leaders does not care a single bit of it. They just think those people are cowards who got themselves hurt.

"_The most ridiculous part is, in any other faction it would be brave of us to tell someone. But here … in _Dauntless _… bravery won't do us any good,_" she says, seriously.

"_Have you ever read the faction manifestos?_" I say. She looks at me, frowning.

"You have?" she pauses and then says, "Oh. Obviously _you _have. Never mind."

I smiled a bit. "_One of the lines I remember from the Dauntless manifesto is, 'We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.'_" I sigh. The current leaders call themselves Dauntless the Brave, my eye. And everyone rejected the manifestos like trash, not having any interest of reading it. The manifestos are like the manual of each faction, you cannot just open up a computer and start unplugging things when you do not even know the contents of it and what you should do, and assume that you know what you are doing. Stereotypically, Erudites are just a bunch of people who's thirst for knowledge; Amities are just happy and completely innocent druggies; Dauntless are just a bunch of crazy hooligans who wants kill people without reason; Candors are a bunch of smart-mouths and chatterboxes; Abnegations are just some caretakers. I shake my head at that thought. People go by stereotypes, but some people use the stereotypes as a bad example of themselves so they will keep doing what they want and make others think that they are not what they "supposed" to be.

"Let's go to the dining hall and eat some cake," I suggested.

"Alright," she replies, smiling.

When we go back to the dorm, Edward's bunk and Myra's were stripped clean and their drawers are empty. Christina says, "They quit."

Edward's decision saved Al from being cut. Al will go to the next stage of initiation. Everyone's rank moves up by one, therefore Peter is now first, I'm second, Christina is third, Tris is fifth, and Al is seventh. We now have seven initiates.

When it's noon and it's time for lunch, I sat with Chirstina and Al in the café. Tris is nowhere to be found. I hope she didn't throw herself into the chasm, but she is too selfless and smart to do that.

Then there's an Erudite in the dining hall, I suspect him as a journalist. Since he's asking the surrounding people some questions and he's taking notes down in his notebook. Apparently, the Dauntless he asked refused to say their opinion.

Afterwards, he ended up in our table and he asked us questions on our opinions about the Abnegation leadership. I feel anger inside me, are they done with this yet? It's been months. Why don't they do something else than making fun of the Abnegation? All of us glared at him.

"There are more important things for you to be doing, smartass," Christina says, swearing.

"I'm just doing my job," the Erudite answered, cold.

"So you chose to do this instead of writing articles about your faction's research? Great," Christina scoffs.

"What are your opinions on the Abnegation leadership?"

"Oh, shut up already. We have no interest of involving the stuff between Abnegation and Erudite, that's your business, stop getting Dauntless on your side," Christina snaps.

"I'm just doing my job, please answer the question," he repeated. He just stepped on the landmine, Christina stands up, grabs the collar of his shirt and lifts him above the ground about few inches. He dropped the notebook and pencil in his hands.

"We are not answering that question, got that?" she states, narrowing her eyes at him. He almost whimpered. She lets go of him, he drops back to the ground and he loses his balance. In the end, he grabs his stuff and walks out of the dining hall, with a hint of frustration and impatience. If Tris was here, I bet he would end up in the infirmary already.

"Jeez, what's with their obsession of asking people's opinions?" Christina says as she sat down.

"Because their dumb?" Al asks.

"Because they are arrogant," I say, I crossed my arms and leaned back into my seat.

Both of them went silent at my comment, we stayed in the dining hall for a while, even when we all finished our lunch.

Afterwards, Tris finally appears. But she walks in with Dauntless members and Dauntless-born initiates. And judging her face expression and messy features, she just had the best time of her life. So she found better friends than the ones she already had? All of us had the same look, stunned and confused. She walks to our table and she sits.

"_Where were you? What were you doing with them?_" Christina asks.

"_Uriah … you know, the Dauntless-born who was on our capture the flag team? He was leaving with some of the members and he begged them to let me come along. They didn't really want me there. Some girl named Lynn stepped on me,_" Tris replies.

"_They may not have wanted you there them. But they seem to like you now,_" I say.

"_Yeah, I'm glad to be back, though." _For lunch…

She's lying, hoping we don't know it. I assume that she wants us to feel better, but it's sort of the same with not talking at all. At least it's better than throwing an insult or threat at us for not being good enough friends. She looks out a window, possibly just to ignore eye contact with us.

"_Well, you missed Christina almost punching an Erudite,_" Al breaks the silence. "_He was here asking for opinions about the Abnegation leadership, and Christina told him there were more important things for him to be doing._"

"_Which she was completely right about. And he got testy with her. Big mistake,_" I add.

"_Huge,_" Tris nods.

"_Yeah, while you were off having fun, I was doing the dirty work of defending your old faction, eliminating inter action conflict …_" Christina says. I cut her off, "_Come on, you know you enjoyed it. If you're not going to tell the whole story, I will. He was standing there all journalist-like as if he can ask anything and have answers …_"

She nods while I tell her what really happened, but she seems like she dozed off thinking about other things. She may be nodding but her sense of hearing is off and her sense of thinking is turned on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the wait. Describing the fear was a bit complicated. But I hope it's good enough. Having a hallucination of dropping into a pool of acid and surviving is nearly impossible. So I end up alternating it into something else.****  
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**Also this story reached over 200 viewers. Thank you so much everyone!**

**Hope you guys will enjoy it.**

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Next morning, instead of being in the training room, we are asked to sit in a hallway with all the initiates, waiting to be called into the room behind the closed door. Exactly what Four said, both transfers and Dauntless-borns are training together from now on.

Second stage of initiation involves something to do with emotions, since Four told us the second stage is primarily emotional. What about emotions? We do not know since no one told us, but it's not definitely about the ability to show and fake emotions because I'm sure Dauntless do not have roles of being dramatic actors. It's possibly the ability to control emotions.

Just then something clicked in my mind, fear. The ability to face and control our fears. Parts of my mind groaned, I don't think I'm able to stand this. Fears. Heights, acid, blood, and all the fears I have developed overtime. I'm doomed. I'm so doomed. But I have to pass this to be Dauntless, I chose to be Dauntless so I cannot give up on my decision. Part of me is determined and anxious to get this over with, but another part of me is worried about all the negative consequences. I can't take this anymore, I want to get this over with. I don't want to worry about fear every passing minute, this psychological tension is really killing me. It's making my mind go nuts.

"_So, which one of you is ranked first, huh_?" says a bald girl, Lynn, I almost thought she was a male when I first saw here. At first, no one spoke and then Peter clears his throat.

"_Me_," he says.

"_Bet I could take you,_" she responds, casual. "_I'm second, but I bet any of us could take you, transfer._"

I found myself grinning a bit, they just proved Peter that he is not the best of the best. Or so to say, the reality of things; not everything is "fair in his opinion".

"_I wouldn't be so sure about that, if I were you. Who's first?_" Peter says, trying to make himself sound tough.

"_Uriah. And I am sure. You know how many years we've spent preparing for this?_" She intimidates.

Before Peter can speak another word, Four calls Lynn into the room.

"_So you're first_," I say to Uriah who sits in the far corner.

He shrugs like it's nothing. "_Yeah. And?_"

"_And you don't think it's a little unfair that you've spent your entire life getting ready for this, and we're expected to learn it all in a few weeks?_" I say, narrowing my eyes.

"_Not really. Stage one was about skill, sure, but no one can prepare for stage two. At least, so I'm told._"

True, you can't literally prepare for something mental. Physical? Sure, spent a few years train your butt off and you're good to go. But training your brain to face your worst fears? Impossible, no one can be utterly fearless. You can have fewer fears, but having no fears at all is impossible.

After a while, Peter is called. He looks confident, but he won't be after he goes through that simulation. I actually want to see how he looks like after he sees his worst fears for once. I want to see how he can handle it without being terrified. How his "I'm the best" look crumble into dust. Because that can clearly show him that he isn't always capable of beating everyone. He can't beat himself.

During the duration of the silence and tension, I sum up all my strategies to conquer the system from recognizing me as a Divergent. Do not act immediately, do not seek ways out of it or manipulate the hallucination, face it and stay in it for a few minutes by reminding myself to think of the fear, just wait till my heart rate and breathing slows till the system registers and the hallucination stops.

"Will," Four calls. I stand stiffly and walk into the room. Sitting there for hours makes my entire body ache and uncomfortable because of inactivity.

I find myself seeing the same thing I see when I walk into the aptitude test room. A reclining chair with a machine beside it. I flinch.

"Sit," Four says, with a little hint of boredom. Well, he's been doing this for hours now, so I can't expect him to be so interested doing it. He doesn't mind doing it, that doesn't mean he enjoys it.

I sit and wait for whatever he needs to do to me. When he turns around facing me, he holds a syringe with a long needle, with his thumb against the plunger. I tense a bit at the sight because that syringe is enormous compare to the ones used for vaccines. Unlike the aptitude test, it's injected instead of ingested. Like the aptitude test, the serum is coloured.

"No electrodes?" I ask, out of fear.

"It's a different version of the simulation, a more advanced one with different serum," he answers.

"How does it transmit information?"

"There is a minute transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer," he taps the syringe. I can't be distracted by a sight of a large needle, I immediately run over my thoughts one more time.

He injects the needle into the side of my neck. The serum is so strong that a deep ache runs through my throat. Ugh, why the neck?

"The simulation will start in sixty seconds, and I'm sure I don't have to explain how it works don't I?" he says. I shake my head, "No need to." My body already starts to tense up.

"Be brave, the first time is always the hardest." Because the first time is called experience.

Everything goes dark.

I woke up with both my arms tied up above me. I was unable to move at all, all I can do is struggle. The air is moist and damp like I'm in a sewer, the ground is wet and so is the walls. My head is facing out a window and my back is exposed to the dark, I have no idea for what reason. But I'm starting to panic.

I hear crackling behind me, and then it's all around me. I can't see who it is because of the shadows. It's possible that it's a punishment, one of the methods back in the days where they use pain to gain information. Maybe I shouldn't have read history books when I was 10.

Something slaps against my back and I hear it sound loud and clear. A whip. The pain runs through my body and I screamed. It slaps against my back numerous times that I lost count, my vision was blurry. I grit my teeth to stop screaming but the pain is so overwhelming that I can't take it anymore.

The whipping stops but something splashed on my back. It makes my wounds burn so much like it was hot acid. The water sinks deeper into the wounds which burn even more, and the whipping starts all over again. It doesn't only hit my back, it also hits my arms and legs this time.

I try to refrain from screaming but it doesn't work, the pain is everywhere. I try to recover my vision and I see sprays of blood on the ground around me. I call for help again and again but I hear no one and I'm alone. Nothing but the sound and impact of the whip. The salt water felt like acid, dissolving into my wounds and touching every nerve along the way making it extremely painful.

My head throbs and my senses became numb, the whipping sensation is still sharp and that's the only thing I feel right now. I'm dying; I'm literally dying.

_Get your head straight! _A voice yells in my memory, my father. I'm not doing anything illogical, I am not doing anything at all. All I am doing is suffering pain in my current position.

_Wake up! _The voice screams again. Spots start to appear in my vision, my heart beat starts to slow, and all I can think of is dying and fade away from this world. But once I see the blood mess splattered all around me, I start to fear and panic all over again; returning back to my senses. Gasping, screaming, and shuddering.

_Calm down! _The voice snaps. I can't, I can't. I am beaten to death and I'm screaming. I cough and blood came out of my mouth. The whipping didn't stop and it continues till I have no idea when. Each breath is painful; I feel like blood is coming out every time I exhale. Every part of my backside stings and hurts.

Then they untied my arms from the support and pushed me from the front; making me fall backwards into a tank of water. It hurts so much because of the number of wounds. I bet it's covering every inch of my back. And this time it's not pouring on me, I'm soaking in it. I scream, and my vision fades even more. My face is wet with water, tears and blood.

_Breathe._ I grit my teeth, but I'm not able to inhale and exhale slowly and properly. My mouth is covered with blood, and I will smell the scent of blood when breathing with my nose. I almost vomit. _Inhale. _I took a big breath through my mouth, gasping. I hold it. _Exhale. _I let it out shakily. It's impossible. I shut my eyes and breathe again. I try to loosen my muscles because the tension makes the wounds hurt, but I'm still in the water. I breathe again, I cough more blood out. I scream. It's not working. I continue to breathe even though it hurts doing so. I float on top of the water, I relaxed my muscles after I got used to the sensation a bit. It still burns. I let them torturing me, I let the fear make me feel like a beaten corpse.

I let myself feel like nothing.

I woke up in the room. I'm done the hallucination but I know I have failed my plan.

I'm still short of breath. I can still feel the sensation of the acid. My limbs and back still burns. I avoid my gaze from seeing myself, the results of the hallucination still lingers. It's possible that my back is bloody and no longer smooth with skin.

I shut my eyes. "Will," Four says. I heard him, but I didn't think of answering him. I just want to forget everything that has happened just now.

"Hey! Will!" Four raises his voice. I finally open my eyes slowly and glare at him. I sat him in the seat. I shake my head and scoff.

"What the hell is the point of scaring our minds off till we die? I get it that it's the Dauntless initiation but how will we die in these horrible and extremely painful ways? Do you know that based on studies, people who go through this fear hallucination, this one I just experienced, they will go unconscious and die because of the shock," I snap. He says nothing, and then he goes back to his computer.

"Seems illogical? Well, this is not Erudite," he states. "And you're alive."

"What _is_ the point of it? And I did not ask for a logical answer," I snap, "I asked for a reason."

"Learning how to think in the midst of fear." I shake my head but I didn't say anything. This is called experience. Experience doesn't mean things turn out your way, it means learning what you did wrong and remember it the next time. "Also, based on _that _study, Erudites adjust and alternate the simulation so that people who have this kind of fear of acid will not experience the actual thing, which _will _create extreme and deadly shock."

I groan, "How long did I take?" That's the most important goal I have here.

"9 minutes," he answers. 7 minutes? That's too short. I have to hold it out longer in the next hallucination. I groan even louder and sank back into the chair.

"What's the average?"

"Around 12 minutes." I sighed deeply. That's not a good sign, I'm about twice as fast than average. I have to delay the time for over 5 minutes. I need to.

"Am I allowed to leave?" I sound like I've been strained, my voice tight. He nods and waves me away. He returns his attention to the monitor.

Am I able to survive this stage of training? I might as well experience every fear I have and suicide myself by jumping into the chasm because I do not want to remember the feeling of being in the simulation.

When I walk into the dorm, everyone –both Dauntless-born and transfers – was crowded around Peter. He is holding an article-sized paper in his hands, reading it out loud. An Erudite article.

I don't have the interest of listening but what else would I be doing? Lying down on my bed and remember what I just experience? No way. I stand beside Christina.

Just then, Tris walks in and Peter read it even louder.

"_The mass exodus of the children of Abnegation leaders cannot be ignored or attributed to coincidence. The recent transfer of Beatrice and Caleb Priot, the children of Andrew Prior, calls into question the soundness of Abnegation's values and teachings. Why else would the children of such an important man decide that the lifestyle he has set out for them is not an admirable one?_"

We all have our own choice, and it means we do not have to follow what our parents want us to do. We have our own opinions and opinions on ourselves. What's the point of having a topic on this? Why can't they have an article about how much Erudite and Candor transfers to Dauntless? Because that's something we all do not know.

"_Molly Atwood, a fellow Dauntless transfer, suggests a disturbed and abusive upbringing might be to blame. 'I heard her talking in her sleep once,' Molly says. 'She was telling her father to stop doing something I don't know what it was, but it gave her nightmares.'_"

Tsk. That day when the journalist came, Molly gave him input. Molly shows a crooked smile on her face, it's seriously tempting to beat her face up. My mouth sours. Now Tris is fired up.

"_What?_" Tris demands twice. Peter stops reading and everyone turned their gaze at Tris. Most of them gave her smirks and continue to wait for Peter to continue. Peter turns last and smiles, like he's doing it on purpose to see Tris mad.

"Give me that," she holds out her hand. Her face is red with anger.

"But I'm not done reading," Peter returns to the paper. "_However, perhaps the answer lies not in a morally bereft man, but in the corrupted ideals of an entire faction. Perhaps the answer is that we have entrusted our city to a group of proselytizing tyrants who do not know how to lead us out of poverty and into prosperity._"

Tris marches towards Peter and fights to snatch the article away but Peter is much taller than her. Instead of jumping like a cat, she stomps on his foot hard. Peter stops and grits, then returns reading. Before she's about to launch herself at Molly, I stopped her.

"_That's my _father_! My father, you coward!_" She screams.

I throw her body over my shoulders and drag her out of the dormitory. I put her on the ground once the door shuts and she shove me into the wall behind me.

"_What? Did you think I couldn't defend myself against that piece of Candor trash?_"

"No," I stand in front of the door to block her from going in there again. "_I figured I'd stop you from starting a brawl in the dormitory. Calm down._"

"_Calm down? Calm _down? _That's my _family _they're talking about, that's my _faction!"

"_No, it's not. It's your old faction, and there's nothing you can do about what they say, so you might as well just ignore it._"

"_Were you even listening? Your stupid ex-faction isn't just insulting Abnegation anymore. They're calling for an overthrow of the entire government._"

That insult sounds offensive but it's incorrect, too. "_No, they're not. They're arrogant and dull, that's why I left them, but they aren't revolutionaries. They just want more say, that's all, and they resent Abnegation for refusing to listen to them._"

"_They don't want people to listen, they want people to agree. And you shouldn't bully people into agreeing with you._" She puts her face in her hands. "I can't believe my brother joined them."

What's seriously going on with people's minds? Man, stereotypes, she didn't even know what the Erudite is really like and she's starting to create insults based on rumors like this one.

"Hey. They're not all bad," I say sharply. She looks down at her shoes. She doesn't believe me. Well, I guess everyone goes cuckoo after the fear simulation.

The door opens behind me, and Christina and Al walk out.

"It's my turn to get tattooed, want to come with us?" Christina says. We don't have anything else to do, so we all walk into the Pit.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry everyone for waiting so long. Although, this chapter is much longer than previous chapters.**

**Have fun reading!**

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**Uneasiness and Guilt**

It has been six days since second stage started. During those days, I've experienced 6 phobias. By far the first one I've experienced is the most difficult. Asthenophobia. Fear of weakness. It's not that I'm afraid of being weak but I guess I'm afraid of not having any way to be free of something or someone strong and death is my only option. Plus I'm tied up and beaten to death, how I can be strong or able to resist from beaten up? One option is manipulate the simulation. Which is like waving a flame in the darkness screaming "I'm here". 9 minutes isn't good enough to persuade them.

When I get to the dormitory, I see a crowd on the other end of the room. Eric stands in front of them with a chalkboard that's facing away from us and giving us a speech. Rankings? They say there are no cuts for stage two. I join the group. The thought of rankings makes me feel anxious and the time Eric finishes, Tris stands next to me.

"_What's going on?_" she asks with a quiet voice.

"_Rankings for stage two,_" I reply.

"_I thought there weren't any cuts after stage two,_" she hisses.

"_There aren't. It's just a progress report, sort of._" She nods.

When Eric hangs up the board and steps out of our view, everyone fell silent. I know why they're silent. Someone who's in fifth place in stage one, fragile and small, stands in first place.

Tris.

Some people turn their heads towards her direction. I look down the list and I see my name in the 7th slot, with an average simulation time of eleven minutes. Peter is second again but I see that there's a large difference between first and second. Tris beats Peter by five minutes, fifteen seconds. Something about that doesn't sound normal.

"_Nice job,_" I whisper to her.

She nods but her eyes are still on the board. Her expression is somehow pleased and worried at the same time. She's worried because Peter will get revenge on her just like Edward. She's the next victim.

Al stands in the last slot. I'm a bit worried that he will not make it through the initiation, he might be cut in the next stage. The crowd gradually breaks up, leaving Peter, Al, Tris, and me looking at the rankings. Al looks like he can cry in the next few seconds. Tris looks confused and thinking. Peter has a sour and tense expression. I'm just standing there thinking what's really going on and what I should do, because the tension in the silence is high.

As he moves slowly away from the board, he glares at her with hate. Before he passes her, he slams her into the wall with both his hands on her shoulders.

"_I will not be outranked by a Stiff. How did you do it, huh? How the hell did you do it?_" he hisses into her face. He pulls her forward and slams her into the wall again. Tris grits her teeth from screaming. I grab Peter's shirt collar and drag him away from her.

"_Leave her alone. Only a coward bullies a little girl,_" I say to him.

"_A little girl?_" he frowns, and throws my hand away from his shirt. "_Are you blind, or just stupid? She's going to edge you out the rankings and out of _Dauntless, _and you're going to get _nothing, _all because she knows how to manipulate people and you don't. So when you realize that she's out to ruins us all, you let me know._"

He then storms out of the room with his sidekicks following behind. I try to be in a confused expression to prevent suspicion, because I don't care where I stand on the rankings, I don't think she's cheating, and I'm _able_ to manipulate the simulation. But I think it's possible that she is Divergent, a strong one in act since she wasn't able to resist and hide her ability to manipulate. The ranking is a strong evidence of her Divergence.

"_Thanks,_" she says. Though I can't deny that she can be so weak and fragile in the first stage and so tough in the second stage. I decide to go with Peter's opinion.

"_Is he right? Are you trying to manipulate us?_" I ask, quietly.

"_How on earth would I do that? I'm just doing the best I can, like anyone else._" She scoffs at me.

"_I don't know. By acting weak so we pity you? And then acting tough to psyche us out?_" I shrug my shoulders. I know that she's Abnegation but since she chose Dauntless, she might have the selfishness of being the first. She might not even care about her friends.

"_Psyche you out? I'm your _friend. _I wouldn't do that._"

I don't say anything and look away from her. I hope she can tell that I don't believe her.

"_Don't be an idiot, Will. She's not acting,_" Christina says, hopping down from her bed. She turns and leaves the room, I follow her out without shutting the door. Tris' attention will be on Al and she won't find me suspicious.

Christina and I walk in silence. Our ranks aren't so bad. Seventh is a safe place for me to be out of suspicion and prevent failing the initiation. Christina just passed. Both of our ranks are good enough to be in the top 10 out of sixteen initiates but Tris just made us look like failures; like she surpassed us by changing her image.

"I think she cheated," Christina says out of the sudden. I nod in agreement. I think she wasn't able to hide it, but I keep it to myself. I can't trust Tris just because she's possible a Divergent as well, since once she's caught she can blame it on others and betray all the people who trust her.

No one is safe. I can't trust anyone.

Tris was in the dormitory before anyone else that night. Her eyeballs are moving under her eyelids, she's pretending to be asleep. I have no interest to wake her up and chat with her or say something to her, so I just ignore and move on.

After a while, the room is quiet and dark. Then I hear some shuffling from where Tris sleeps. I open my eyes and see that she's up and awake. She walks out of the dormitory bare footed. Afterwards, when few minutes passed, I hear shuffling from another place.

"Wake up," someone hissed. That voice belongs to Peter. Then I hear shuffling from where Al is. Why are they awake? The footsteps are faint; three people are walking out of the dormitory.

I wait couple of seconds after they walk out of the door, then I get up and follow them out of the dormitory, barefooted. They are visible under the dim light bulbs, I keep myself hidden in the shadows and follow them quietly. After a couple of turns and hallways, they start talking. They're planning on something. They run quietly jog through the Pit to one of the hallways, I was about to follow them till I see flashlights and hear voices at the other side of the Pit. I hide myself into the shadows, hoping they didn't see me and the shadows can keep me hidden.

"_So far there haven't been any signs of it._" It's Eric's voice.

"_Well, you wouldn't have seen much of it yet,_" someone replies, female. "_Combat training shows you nothing. The simulations, however, reveal who the Divergent rebels are, if there are any, so we will have to examine the footage several times to be sure."_

A shiver travels down my spine. The voice belongs to Jeanine Matthews. Why is an Erudite representative in the Dauntless compound?

"_Don't forget the reason I had Max appoint you. Your first priority is always finding them. Always._" Jeanine says.

"_I won't forget_."

They are the ones who are looking for Divergents. Jeanine is responsible for Eric's leadership position to observe any traces of Divergence in the Dauntless faction. Why didn't I notice it before? Jeanine Matthews invented the simulation serums. As they turn to a corner, I run back to the dormitory as fast and quietly as possible.

I need to plan for the final stage of initiation carefully or else I will be revealed.

Next morning, I realized two people are missing, Tris and Drew. I wonder what happened to them. Al still lies in his bed with a blanket covering his face, I can hear him sobbing behind the sheet of fabric. There's nothing I can do much for him; comforting him that it's okay is just dumb. Because it's not okay and I don't have any hints to help him pass the final stage of initiation. Peter looks like he got beat up; he seems a bit stiff and sore instead of tough and evil.

I walk to the dining hall with Christina. I feel uneasy for some odd reason as if something bad will happen today. Or had happened but I didn't know.

"Where are they?" I ask Christina. She turns and raise an eyebrow, she didn't understand my question. "Tris and Drew I mean."

"How should I know? I'm not the one who woke up at night," she eyes me. I purse my lips, and say nothing else. We ate our breakfast alone without either Al or Tris, it doesn't seem right. Even though I do not know why.

Till I see Tris limping into the dining hall with a big dark bruise on her cheek. Both Christina and I have the same expression, shocked and confused. Uriah at the next table beside us waved at Tris, and then puts it down, shocked as well.

She sits beside me. Then Uriah slides into the seat beside her, leaving his food at the other table. All three of us just stare at Tris for a moment, looking for an explanation of what happened.

"What happened?" I ask, lowering my voice as I said it. She looks at the table behind us, where Peter and Molly sits, and clench her fingers. She looks away and reaches for a piece of toast.

"_Peter, Drew…_" she wince, "_And… And Al._" What? Why Al? Why would he beat up his friend?

"_Oh God_," Christina says with her eyes wide.

"_Are you all right_?" asks Uriah.

Tris glance at Peter's table again, and looks away. "Not really," she replies. Even though it's only a bruise, I'm sure there are other injuries since the bruise is the most obvious. My expression turns sour, and so does Uriah's.

"_But you're just … It isn't fair. Three against one_?" says Uriah.

"_Yeah, and Peter is all about what's fair. That's why he grabbed Edward in his sleep and stabbed him in the eye_," Christina snorts and shakes her head. "_Al, though? Are you sure, Tris?_"

Tris stares at her plate. "_Yeah, I'm sure._"

"_It has to be desperation. He's been acting … I don't know. Like a different person. Ever since stage two started_," I say. I should have stayed later, so Tris and Al won't end up like this. Why did I leave anyway?

Just then, Drew walks into the dining hall. My jaw drops and my eye widen. I wouldn't say walk because he seems to lose his balance with each step he takes. His face is swollen and purple. He has a split lip, and a cut running through his eyebrow. He looks down on his way to Peter's table. Did Tris do this to him?

"Did _you _do that?" I hiss at her. She shakes her head in disagreement.

"_No. Someone – I never saw who – found me right before …,_" she swallows, "… _I got tossed into the chasm."_ I remain silent after what she said.

"_They were going to _kill _you?_" Christina says in a low voice.

"_Maybe. They might have been planning on dangling me over it just to scare me._" Tris shrugs. "_It worked._" I stare at the table, with anger bubbling inside me. Christina gives her a depressing look.

"_We have to do something about this,_" says Uriah in a low voice.

"_What, like beat them up? Looks like that's been taken care of already,_" Christina says with a grin.

"_No. That's pain they can get over. We have to edge them out of the rankings. That will damage their futures. Permanently_," replies Uriah.

Maybe I should face my fears a bit faster just to push Peter out of his current rank. If possible we can make him at the bottom of the top 10 or even out of Dauntless.

If Peter can have an average simulation time of 8 minutes, I can get him out of second place.

"_Transfers. We're doing something different today. Follow me,_" Four announces.

All of us stand, and Uriah says to Tris, "Be careful."

"_Don't worry. We'll protect her,_" I say to him. Now it's even numbered, it's fair. And Peter is going to pay for his mistake.

Four leads us outside and above the Pit to a large room in an ancient building; made of bricks and lit by old-fashioned fluorescent tubes.

"_This, is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it_," says Four.

"_Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it_."

It seems slightly easier than the second stage because now we are supposed to overcome our fears instead of experiencing it.

"_The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have. I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation. That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body – to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head_," he continues.

"_Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?"_

Everyone nods, including Drew, who looks in extreme pain.

This stage is fighting against our fears. Now I don't have to hold back enduring the pain just to make my average time longer, I don't have to manipulate the simulation. This I can do well, to be able to become a member of Dauntless. Relief runs through my nerves.

"_You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example. So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them._"

"_That doesn't sound fair. What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault,_" Peter complains.

Four eyes him and then laughs. "_Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?_"

The crowd splits into two to make way for Four as he approach Peter with his arms folded, and says in a deadly tone, "_I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward._"

Peter just stares back, blank.

"_So now we all know, that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation,_" Four says, quietly, and he shows a smile.

I put my arm around Tris, grinning. Christina shakes with laughter, trying to suppress the sound. It takes a moment for Tris to smile.

In the afternoon we go back to the dormitory, and Al is still in there. I stand behind Tris and lightly hold her shoulders. Christina moves a bit closer to her.

Dark circles surround Al's eyes, and his face is swollen from crying. He looks like a mess. Tris looks at him expressionless, like she won't accept any kind of apology from him.

"_Tris. Can I talk to you?_" Al says, with his voice cracking.

"_Are you kidding? You don't get to come near her ever again._" My grip tightens, squeezes her shoulders a bit.

"_I won't hurt you. I never wanted to …_" he covers his face. "_I just want to say that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't … I don't know what's wrong with me, I … please forgive me, _please_ …"_ he pleads. _Excuse. _I thought. He knows what he was doing, he just didn't think clearly and he chose a bad choice.

He reaches for her with his face wet with tears. Tris still eyes him with the same look. All of us stare at Al; he looks at the ground with his arm stretched out. I expect her to forgive him, but I realized I was wrong.

"_Stay away from me,_" Tris keeps her voice quiet. Her voice is cold and emotionless. "_Never come near me again,_" she lowers her voice.

Their gazes meet. And she threatens.

"_If you do, I swear to God I will kill you, you coward._"

He slowly pulls his arm away and he looks at the ground again. He turns his back towards us, and his shoulders shake from sobbing.

Sometimes I don't know what I should be feeling. Whether I should pity someone or look down at them.

Al is completely changed.

I wake up to people moving loudly and mysteriously that night. Some people are still sleeping, some aren't. I check my watch; it is 2:44 in the morning. I wonder where they went and why they will get up this early. I wobble as I stand, and I walk out of the dormitory full of sleepiness. Instead of putting on my shoes I just run barefoot to the Pit. The uneasy feeling from yesterday still exist, something worst happened.

A group of people gather around the edge of the chasm. Everyone is stands apart from each other so I walk to the front of the crowd. Everyone is silent and still.

A figure lands on the Pit floor with a thud. One of the pale swollen limbs flops onto the stone. The body lies face-first so I couldn't see its face. Though I can tell it's someone familiar despite the swelling, I shake my head from disbelief. Someone turn over the body, and the head flops to its side. My stomach stinks.

The eyes are wide open and empty, like doll's eyes. The lips are blue from the cold. The face is swollen and pale just like the rest of the body. The nose made it clear. My next breath comes out as a wheeze. _It's Al._ I shut my eyes and lost my balance against a wall beside me.

"_One of the initiates. What happened?_" a person asks. Isn't it already obvious that someone committed suicide?

"_Same thing that happens every year. He pitched himself over the ledge,_" another person replies.

"_Don't be so morbid. Could have been an accident._" No, it's an incident.

"_They found him in the middle of the chasm. You think he tripped over his shoelace and … whoopsies, just _stumbled _fifteen feet forward?_"

What a joke. Who would trip into the chasm when railings are there to prevent that? I fall down to the ground, why did he do this? I could've helped him. I could've found out why he's like this. Why he would push himself to try to kill Tris and suicide himself the day after? Why would he think of doing this?

Someone kneels beside Al and closes his eyelids shut. Making it look like he's sleeping. Ridiculous. Death is not sleep. Even though I can't deny that I don't want to see the eyes of a dead person, because having its eyes looking at you is like the person dies because of you.

I sink to the ground. Memories of Al flashes in my mind. I feel regretful and selfish. I heard Al's sobs and screams at night. I accept him as a friend but I'm only able to help him forget everything for a few moments instead of helping him overcome his fears and problems. I ignore everything that went wrong with Al.

When I blink a few times, I see his face when we were fighting against each other. His expression was full of worries and he was unsure of everything he does. I let him knock me out cold. I can almost remember the impact of his fist against my jaw and the bruise that he left.

Someone brings a big large bag to put Al in. I watch them shift and move his body into the bag. Al cannot fit into it.

Tears start to fill my eyes and blur my vision.

He is a big and strong guy with a fragile heart. But he isn't anymore. He is gone. He turns into a part of the past instead of the present.

* * *

**I hope I will finish at least 9 more chapters before summer ends. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi everyone, the first book is about to end and soon it will be Insurgent. So please anticipate and please review.**

* * *

**Stage 3**

Late at night, Christina, Tris and I stand at the barrier overlooking the chasm.

We all got new tattoos half an hour ago. We decided to get a tattoo of the Dauntless symbol, to remind us what we chose, what we been through, who we met and who we are after the initiation. It will also remind me of Al because we got it the day he died.

Christina holds a stack of every report the Erudite wrote in the last six months. Tris stands on the railing looking down into the chasm. I stood behind the barrier, gripping the bars till my knuckles turn white, thinking.

"_Have you ever met her?_" Tris asks me. Christina crumples the first article into a ball and tosses it into the roaring water.

"_Jeanine? Once,_" I answer. I rip the next report into pieces and let it fall into the river. I honestly think I don't belong to my former faction anymore, because the leader is arrogant. The articles don't bring anything except harassment and insult to the Abnegation.

"_Before she was a leader, she worked with my sister. They were trying to develop a longer-lasting serum for the simulations. Jeanine's so smart you can see it even before she says anything. Like … a walking, talking computer,_" I say.

"_What … what do you think of what she has to say?_" she asks as she threw a report into the mist.

I shrug my shoulders. "_I don't know. Maybe it's a good idea to have more than one faction in control of the government. And maybe it would be nice if we had more cars and … fresh fruit and …_"

"_You do realize there's no secret warehouse where all that stuff is kept, right?_" Her cheeks turn red.

"_Yes, I do. I just think that comfort and prosperity are not a priority for Abnegation, and maybe they would be if the other faction were involved in our decision making._"

"_Because giving an Erudite boy a car is more important than giving food to the factionless,_" she snaps.

"_Hey now. This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political debate,_" Christina interrupts.

Tris bites her lips to refrain from asking. I feel like she thinks I'm just like my sister, who insulted her mother like a piece of trash. My expression turns sour.

"What's the point of having a car for every Erudite member when we can't even feed ourselves with fresh food? I didn't say that the Erudite are asking for other factions to help win the conflict between your faction and Erudite. I'm saying to be able to have a clear and understandable conclusion to a statement. We must have the opinions of other perspectives." I say with an emotionless and stable voice.

She didn't respond, she tears a report in half and throws it with a hint of anger. She's not persuaded.

"_All the stuff she said about your dad, though, makes me kind of hate her. I can't imagine what good can come of saying such terrible things,_" I added.

She nods but she still didn't say anything, I don't expect her to. I can't make her change her opinion of my former faction when I'm not even able to change my sister's opinion. I'm just telling her I'm not one of them.

"Bedtime. Who ready to sleep? I'm tempted to put Peter's hand in a bowl of warm water to make him pee overnight," Christina says, smiling at us. She's trying to put out the fire since she's basically neutral in the conflict between the two factions. I try to resist a yawn but it comes out big; I'm actually really tired. Christina elbows my stomach.

As we walk into the Pit and away from the railings, Tris says, "_That sounds great, but I have to talk to Four about something."_ She points at a shadow climbing toward the glass ceiling.

"_Are you sure you should be running around here at night?_" Christina asks.

"_I won't be alone. I'll be with Four._" Tris bites her lip.

Christina and I look at each other. We are worried Tris will fall into danger again just like yesterday, but it's the instructor, why and how would the instructor oppose any danger towards an initiate?

"All right. Well, I'll see you later, then," Christina says to Tris.

Next morning, I find Tris in a completely different mood compare to last night. Like a lunatic. She keeps having a sort of daydreaming smile on her face that she keeps on hiding. Wait actually, she's in a completely different mood than before. Since she's in the compound, I never seen her having that kind of dreamy expression.

… Did she get lovesick?

"_What is it with you today?_" Christina asks her on our way to the dining hall. Compare to Tris, she is still heavy with sleep.

"_Oh, you know. Sun shining. Birds chirping,_" Tris replies.

Yup, she got high. Christina raises an eyebrow at her. How can she say the sun is shining when she didn't even go outside in the morning? Oh well, let the depressing child enjoy her happiness.

"_Let the girl be in a good mood. You may never see it again,_" I say to Christina. Tris punches my arm.

As we eat breakfast, Tris even eats with enthusiasm. I wonder who made her so hyped up. But then suddenly, that expression escaped from her face and she's back into depressing mode.

"_Something wrong?_" Uriah asks her with his mouth full. She shakes her head and continues eating her toast.

The fear landscape happens to cross my head.

"_Today's fear landscape day. You think we'll get to see our own fear landscapes?_" I ask.

"_No. You go through one of the instructors' landscapes. My brother told me._" Uriah replies.

Lauren is our instructor for the fear landscape. She stands with her hands on her hips outside the fear landscape room and begin a speech.

"_Two years ago, I was afraid of spiders, suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward and trapping you between them, getting thrown out of Dauntless, uncontrollable bleeding, getting run over by a train, my father's death, public humiliation, and kidnapping by men without faces._ _Most of you will have anywhere from ten to fifteen fears in your fears landscapes. That is the average number._"

"_What's the lowest number someone has gotten?_" someone asks, Lynn.

"_In recent years, four,_" answers Lauren. And she continues her speech. "_You will not find out your number today. The stimulation is set to my fear landscape program, so you will experience my fears instead of your own. For the purposes of the exercise, though, each of you will only face _one _of my fears, to get a sense for how the simulation works._"

She assigns everyone a fear each in random order. I'm assigned to the spiders.

Thinking about it, who wouldn't get crazy and shocked when spiders crawl on every inch of your skin? I feel a bit grossed out. If it's just one spider, it's fine because spiders don't actually bite people. They only feast on insects and insects only.

I keep on giving myself the same thoughts over and over again; spiders are _harmless_.

It was like a short while till it's my turn. I lost my sense of time when I'm thinking.

I approach to the entrance to the fear landscape room, where Lauren stands with the serum in her hand. She injects the liquid into my neck.

Then scene changes and I stand in a damp and dark brick room where everything is covered with spider webs. One by one, small spiders creeps from shadows and crawls onto me till I feel nothing but tiny legs moving all over my body. I try to brush them away but other spiders replace it. But as expected, they don't cause any harm. I only have a shivering and tingling sensation that it's everywhere on me.

But there's a problem, I can't calm down, I can't think of this as a normal situation, they might just create layers of layers of silk that wraps me like a cocoon where I die from lack of air. By just thinking if it, white silk start to appear on my arms and soon enough everywhere else. My body shakes. I struggle to brush them and kill them by stepping on them but they are unlimited so it's no use. They start to have a thin coat of silk that wraps around my ankles and I can't do anything. It's one against a million spiders. Suddenly out of nowhere, a flame erupts. I turn my head to that direction and there's a flaming torch hanging above me within an arm's reach. Then I realized that everything is afraid of fire, including spiders.

I grab the torch and wave it around me like a madman. The spiders start to move away from me and the ones on me starts to get off me. Then the simulation ends.

I heaved a big sigh. I got through it. I walk out of the room to where I sat before, and it's the next person's turn. My heart still races even though it's not my fear. The sensation still lingers throughout my limbs, the shivering feeling of the spiders. I dislike it. I watch the screen where it shows the person's actions and reactions, and watch how other people do it.

After a while, something happens. Four stopped Tris' simulation, the lights come on and she drops to her knees on the floor. I don't know what happened but I know it's bad; maybe it's something like what happened to Christina.

Four storms into the room and yanks her to her feet.

"_What the hell was that, Stiff?_" he snaps.

"_I …_" she hiccups. "_I didn't –"_

"_Get yourself together! This is pathetic._"

Suddenly she looks at Four with a threatened glare, and she slaps his face with her free hand. That made a red hand mark on one of his cheeks.

"_Shut up,_" she says. She pulled her arm from Four's grip and storms away from all of us.

Then things clicked inside my mind. And there's a reason for what happened.

She got discovered.

I ate another meal with Christina alone again. It's always the both of us. Now Al is gone and Tris is nowhere to be found, the setting is pretty depressing.

"What do you think happened?" she asks.

"No idea," I stare down at my plate.

"Oh, well. That was some drama don't you think? I don't know but it seems that something happened between the instructor and Tris."

"Wait, you mean Four?"

"Yeah, who else? He's pretty, I don't know, attractive?"

I side-stare at her for a few moments. "You're still acting like a Candor. Do you know how annoying it can be?"

She shrugs. "Whatever. I'm born Candor and there's nothing you can do about it." She shoves the last bite of hamburger into her mouth. "So where do you want to go after lunch?"

I stay silent. I honestly don't want to go anywhere, because everywhere reminds me of Al. I don't want to think about it.

"How about outside? Come on, we should enjoy the sunlight while there still is," she says. It's like she's trying to distract herself by talking non-stop. I roll my eyes and follow her out of the dining hall.

My face goes paler the higher we walk up the stairs. I avoid Christina's attention and stare down at the steps to prevent her from knowing my weakness. She still talks as she climbs the stairs, even though I didn't say anything in reply. To me, it sounds like gibberish nonsense.

When we're outside, she asks me, "You're afraid of heights?"

I purse my mouth and I walk away from her.

"Wait! I'm sorry. You know that I'm just a chatterbox and everything just comes out of my mouth, so excuse me for revealing your fear," she says, apologizing.

I turn back to look back at her, and I sighed like I'm really annoyed. "If you can stop the habit of spilling secrets everywhere. Now then, what are _your _fears?"

Her face hardens like she didn't expect me to say that, but she still continues to talk. "Talking about that is so boring. I mean it's disgusting and creepy just saying. You know when those creepy bodies crawl everywhere and over you, and you can't do anything about it. It just makes me shudder till my bones shatter –"

Even though I hear her speak, it sounds like a mess. I don't really have the interest to speak, but I nod. Before I know it, we are near the train tracks, and the first day of Dauntless came up. I've heard it before and I don't want to hear it again so I interrupt her.

"Is this how you relieve stress and fear?"

She's a bit surprised at the question. "Yes."

"You know there are other ways to do that without speaking a single word. And plus, don't you think you haven't learned your first day lesson yet?"

"Oh, come on. That was weeks ago, months. It's not like I'm going to have an all-going and non-stop conversation with the instructors. Besides they are not even here, so why should I care?"

I stop walking. I lean in close to her face. "You should care." I pause to look away. "Because I don't want you to fail the initiation." And our lips met.

It only lasts for a few seconds. My face feels a bit hot. But we keep on talking after that as if nothing happened. Till she kissed me back.

I bet if my family sees me now, they probably will be disappointed with me. But then I thought that my family won't be like that because they are not Erudite-psychos.

I honestly didn't think I would like a person from Candor.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi everyone, by far this is the longest chapter I've wrote. Nearly 4 thousand words. And that explains why it takes 6 days to write. **

**Thanks _Guest _for your review. **

**This story reached over 300 viewers. Thank you for your interest and consideration!**

**Anyway, hope you will enjoy this next chapter.**

* * *

**Final Task**

The Dauntless' initiation ceremony is different compare to Erudite's, even though I didn't attend the ceremony every year. But I know that Erudite's ceremony will be a leisure and formal banquet. The initiates, who pass every obstacle and problems given to them, will be asked by the leaders to stand up to be recognized. One of the older members will read out the Erudite manifestos and then we all will enjoy a peaceful dinner. Afterwards, the leaders will announce the results of the initiates that will determine their field of study.

In Dauntless, everything is mostly disorganized. It's a riot just to get a plate of food for lunch. I fight through the crowd in and out of the dining hall to be able to have some air and space.

Until then I noticed I grabbed a hamburger for lunch, I feel a bit regretful since I'm missing some nutrients. I got the carbohydrate, fiber and protein, but I'm missing minerals and vitamins. Ignoring the fact, I'm still relieved to even have a meal and it's able to fill up my stomach. I heard a dying scream in the dining hall earlier and I think someone got hurt, bad.

Without even noticing, I finished my lunch. Well, I'm thinking and analyzing my strategies to face my fears in the fear landscape in two hours. That is the only thing left for me to be able to become a member of Dauntless.

The fears that I currently know are heights, punishment, uncontrollable bleeding, obeying the rules you disagree with, and weakness. It's possible that I have more because on average I'm suppose to have from ten to fifteen fears, and I only know six of them in total.

The only way to pass the fear landscape is to either slow down breathing and heart rate, or find a method or way to conquer the fears.

A while later, all of the initiates are in the dormitory before they go to the fear landscapes preparing themselves for whatever comes around in the next set of minutes.

In the glass building, a crowd gathers in front of three big screens outside the fear landscape room. One on the left shows the person's reactions, the middle one show the heart rate, and the one on the right shows the time.

Marlene is the first one doing it. We can't see what her fears are but we can see her reactions to it. Once her heart rate reaches the normal range, the screen flashes green and the people all around me cheer.

I fight through the crowd and jog to the room. The room has a few rows of chairs set up in front of another screen like the one outside, except it's much bigger and it's composed of three separate views. All of the initiates sat there with their eyes observing the screen, all with the same nervous expression. Tobias stands in front of the door beside the screen, blocking our few of the other room.

Few moments after the timer stops, Marlene walks out of the room with her face drenched with tears.

"_Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand. So Drew will go first, and Tris will go last,_" Four tells us.

It's my turn after three transfers. My hands start to turn cold with sweat.

Four steps aside and Drew walks through the door, with his hands shaking with nervous energy. When it's my turn I would know how well I have to be able to beat Drew, Molly, and Christina.

My attention isn't fully on the screen instead I'm dozed off in deep thinking. I have to face the fears without any rebellious thoughts, without any hints of Divergence. I have to face it as if they are real to be able to pass safely.

Drew takes a while to finish. Molly goes after him, and she takes half the time of Drew's to finish. But even she has trouble trying to calm herself. Christina goes next, she takes twelve minutes.

Then it's my turn.

I step into the room and there is a reclining chair in the center. I sit in the chair, Eric takes a syringe and sticks into the injection site. Unlike before I don't feel the pain of the needle or see what's in front of me, I just stare into blank space and can only prepare myself for the worst.

"Prepared?" he asks. Everything goes dark.

* * *

The scene is light enough for me to see the things around me. I feel nothing against the bottom of my feet, I feel ropes tightly tied around me. It feels like I'm dangling in midair, motionless.

I look down, and I see the chasm meters below me. Water sprays upwards and touches my feet. The railings are a few meters in front of me, and a crowd gathers there. Behind me is a rough stone wall with edges.

I look up and I see nothing but darkness. I'm tied to a rope that I don't know where it ends. I don't know what I'm support by.

I hear laughing from the crowd, a bit more like cackling. They all smirk at me, like I'm the entertainment they are waiting for.

Suddenly I hear a faint but loud enough snap above me, one of the strings of the rope is snapped. I'll end up falling into the water and endless freefall if I don't find myself standing on a ground. My heart beats faster. I think more desperately for a way to escape. Strings keep on snapping.

I use my body weight to swing myself front and back, the strings snap more quicker, I continue to swing even higher till I can touch the wall behind me, and then I use the momentum to push myself towards the railings. The rope snaps into two, my arms slam against the barriers. It stings but I'm too shocked to notice how much that hurts. I drag myself over the railings with my arms shaking violently and fall on the floor.

Then sunlight shines into my face from the barred window in front of me, I can't move my hands. I can't see anything else except myself. Fear of punishment.

I wait for the whip to hit me because the first one is always the most painful. I shake and pull against the braces but they won't budge. Then there's the first hit. Pain shoots up my spine and throughout my entire body; it wasn't long till the next hit. I grit my teeth to refrain from screaming and collect as much thoughts I can. In this case, it's hard to calm my breathing so I need to find a method to back from these chains.

My arms are held so my upper body can't do much. But my legs are free and I'm in a standing position. I'm bounded by ropes. There's broken glass shattered around my feet. I'm not able move or twist my shoulders therefore the ropes are held tight.

Cackling continues. I try to grasp a large piece of broken glass between my shoes while enduring the hits. I need to end this before the salt water is splashed on me. Once the whipping stops, I immediately pull my legs up with the broken glass and cut the rope chained to my right arm. My body collapse on the ground as the salt water is splashed on me the second the rope is cut. I scream. And with the pain, I use my remaining strength to reach above me and cut the last rope. I collapse forward onto the floor.

I don't hear the cackling anymore instead I'm in the middle of the Pit in the same position I was few seconds ago; lying down face towards the ground. The place is lit, there's no broken glass, but the simulation is not over yet. I feel very dizzy, the floor is wet, and I smell the unmistaken scent of blood.

Fear of uncontrollable bleeding. If I don't act quickly, I will die from extreme loss of blood.

I search for the injury as I run towards one of the shops. I shake with fear and I vomit along the way from the strong scent of blood. Blood is everywhere on my clothes. The back of my shirt is soaked and it travels down to my feet; leaving bloody footprints as I walk. Everywhere else on my body is splattered with blood. My heart races and I can't breathe.

To survive this, I need to close the wound. I need to close it before I die from bleeding. Stitching will not work in this situation since there is no one here, and doing it by me will harm my body even more since I'm not experienced. Everyone is taught the most basic first aid procedures at the age of 14. I need to calm my breathing to pass this fear.

In the infirmary, there's a mirror. I clench my teeth and force myself to see the injury in the reflection. A 5 inch long cut stretches from my ribcage to my hip. The sight is too horrible I had to look away instead of inspecting it more. I remove my shirt gently but quickly. I grab a roll of bandage from nearby, wrap it around my core and secure it. The fabric is soaked through almost immediately but I don't remove it, I apply another roll.

I turn my back towards the mirror and try to relax myself. Taking big and slow breaths, loosening every muscle one at a one. Inhale, exhale. Blocking all my worries and discomforts and try to only thinking of positives. Inhale. I will get out of here. Exhale.

Someone grabs me awake. Someone else covers my mouth, and eyesight. Arms grab my limbs and drag me across the floor, and then forcefully throw me against the wall. I notice the injury I had before is gone like there wasn't any in the first place. A wheeze escapes my mouth, and I remove the cloth covering my eyes.

I'm in the training room, and there are a group of featureless men surrounding me, about 4 people from my blurry vision. The person closest to me kicks me in the stomach, making me groan in pain. Staying on the ground makes me weak, I need to stand up. Strength breaks weakness. Another person pulls me up by my collar and punches my cheek. Instead of falling back down to the ground, I manage to stand on my knees. I did not rank third place in the first stage for nothing.

I punch the person on my right in the gut as it was off guard. It hugs its stomach and fall into its knees. I grab its collar and shove it to the person charging at me.

All of their build are different; two of them are long and skinny, the other two are big and muscular. I just made the skinny ones collapse, how can I get rid of the big builds? Looking at them makes me remind of Al, who's huge, tall and extremely built. Their only weakness is their speed; their hits are slow but strong. I need to hit where it will knock them out, their human weakness.

I kick one person in the groin and its temple immediately after that, it falls to the ground. The last one tries to punch me, throwing its weight into the hit; I dodge it and aim at its abdomen. It forces a breath out of the featureless person, I hit its throat and the temple as the last hit. The scene disappears.

I sat in a reclining chair, I can't move. A Candor comes from my right and injects a needle into my neck. The liquid is tinted brown. The truth serum. My heart speeds up, I don't want my secrets to be spilled and exposed to everyone in the room.

"I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect," the Candor says. "Now. What is your name?"

I close my eyes, and bite my tongue to refrain from speaking. The only way out is to calm myself. I inhale deeply, hold it and then let it out. I repeated this for the next ten seconds till I respond to the question.

"Will," I say.

"That is a nickname. What is your real name?"

I inhale from my nose and hold my breath. It lasted 30 seconds.

"William." If I'm able to hold my breath for a full minute, my heart rate will drop in the process. I close my eyes, relax as much as I can, and inhale a big breath.

"What are the names of your parents, William?"

I ignore everything around me, the voice of the Candor and the fact I can't move, and keep on holding my breath. My lungs are inactive, not screaming for air yet. If I think of something, that will burn precious oxygen for me to hold. The only thing my brain is doing is counting.

I exhale after I reach 1 minute and 5 seconds, and open my eyes. I'm not the chair anymore. I breathe heavily now my lungs are screaming for air.

Suddenly, instead of inhaling air, I sucked in water. I cough but I realized I'm underwater, where I do not see the surface. I swim upward even though I do not know if I can reach the surface before I die drowning. My lung burn, I slowly release my breath so I can last longer.

My lungs burn, it burns like it's on fire. I make myself forget everything except having a thought chanting in my mind. _Air, I need air. _I gather my strength to swim to the surface.

I see it now, but it's still far. I still swim upward, my lungs burn. My movement is slowing down gradually but I continue to swim. I still continue to swim. _I need air_.

I need air.

Then I reach the surface, I gasp and cough. Breathing as much air I need to oxygenate myself.

The scene and setting changes; I'm not in the water anymore. I'm standing on the Pit floor. There's a little girl sitting in a chair and a loaded gun placed on a table beside her.

"Do it," a voice said. It wants me to execute her. Dauntless rules are to be strictly obeyed, even though it means to kill an innocent. A gun is pressed to my temple.

I grab the gun on the table. Both my hands grasp the handle with one of my index finger over the trigger. I click the bullet into place. Then I thought, I'm glad she's not my sister.

Once I look at her, her features changed. Her eyes are now green, her hair is the same shade of blonde as mine. Her features mirror mine. It's Cara.

"You have ten seconds," the voice snaps. "Either you shoot her, or I'll kill you. Ten!"

"It's okay," Cara says. My eyes burn and I shake my head in frustration.

"It is not," I say.

"Nine!" Her features also reflect my mother. I grit my teeth.

"You have no option. I understand," she says. "No," I yelled. I don't want to kill my own sister, she didn't do anything wrong. Even if she did, I will not kill her.

"Eight! Seven!"

"We love you," instead of hearing Cara's voice, it's my mother's. I shake my head.

"Six!"

I lower the gun. I shut my eyes. My heart races.

"Five! Four!"

The voice did not specify. I have to shoot her, that doesn't mean I have to kill her. It's either I hurt her or I kill myself. Killing myself is the better option but this is a simulation.

"Three!"

I aim at her right arm, she's left handed.

"Two!"

_I'm sorry. _I pull the trigger.

* * *

The lights come on. I shot up in my seat and I bury my face in my knees. I'm covered in sweat but I'm cold. My arms are still shaking.

I have never felt this relieved and calm before. The tension, worries in my body and mind disappears, and I finally can relax and breathe calmly. _I'm done the initiation. _The only thing left is the result of my fear landscape: how long did it take. I rock my body back and forth.

The Dauntless leaders remove their electrodes and stand up from their seats. I stand up as the leaders create a small crowd in front of me.

"Congratulations. You have successfully completed your final evaluation," Eric says.

I manage to pull a small smile. The haunting memory of my last fear is still there. I feel like he can order me to kill my friends right now. I shove my hands into my pocket to stop it from shaking.

"Thank you," I say.

"_There is one more thing before you can go and get ready for the welcoming banquet,_" he says. He holds a small black case in his hands, he opens it and takes out the syringe and needle within it.

I feel tense by looking at the syringe; I thought I'm done with needles after the final stage. The liquid is the same colour as the simulation serum. I find it very suspicious.

"_At least you aren't afraid of needles. This will inject you with a tracking device that will be activated only if you are reported missing. Just a precaution. No questions asked._"

"Everyone is injected?" I ask.

"_This is a new development, courtesy of the Erudite. We have been injecting every Dauntless throughout the day, and I assume all other factions will comply as soon as possible._" He answers.

I remember that the Dauntless leaders don't care about people missing, and at the mention of Erudite, this security measure seems fishy. But I remember that Eric was an Erudite transfer. I can't refuse, or else I will be thrown out of Dauntless even though I've completed the initiation.

I nod. I look down as he wipes my neck with an antiseptic wipe and inserts the needle into my skin. Pain spreads through my neck but disappears afterwards.

"_The banquet is in two hours. Your ranking among the other initiates, Dauntless-born included, will be announced then. Good luck,_" he adds.

At the banquet, I sat in the same table with Christina. And Tris came in later.

"_Where did you go? Everyone else went back to the dormitory,_" asks Christina.

"_I just wandered around. I was too nervous to talk to everyone else about it,_" Tris responds.

"_You have no reason to be nervous. I turned around to talk to Will for one second, and you were already done_."

Tris shrugs her shoulders. I bet she's in first place. "_What job are you going to pick_?" she asks.

"_I'm thinking I might want a job like Four's. Training initiates. Scaring the living daylights out of them. You know, fun stuff. What about you?_" Christina says with an evil grin on her face.

"_I guess … I could be an ambassador to the other factions. I think being a transfer would help me._"

"_I was so hoping you would say Dauntless-leader-in-training, because that's what Peter wants. He couldn't shut up about it in the dorm earlier._"

"_And it's what I want. Hopefully I ranked higher than him … oh, and all the Dauntless-born initiates. Forget about them. Oh God. This is going to be impossible,_" I say.

"_No, it isn't_," Christina says as she reaches for my hand. Now holding hands is like the most natural thing, we couldn't do it before.

"_Question. The leaders who were watching your fear landscape … they were laughing about something,_" Christina asks Tris.

"_Oh? I'm glad my terror amuses them,_" Tris bites her lip.

"_Any idea which obstacle it was?_"

"_No._"

"_You're _lying. _You always bite the inside of your cheek when you lie. It's your tell._"

Tris stops biting her lip.

"_Will's is pinching his lips together, if it makes you feel better,_" Christina adds.

I immediately cover my mouth, I didn't expect her to say that out loud.

"_Okay, fine. I was afraid of … intimacy,_" Tris says, hesitantly.

"_Intimacy. Like … sex?_" Christina repeats.

Tris is tense and she manage to nod. But from her expression, I think she want to strangle Christina right now. I laugh.

"_What was _that _like? I mean, did someone just … try to do it with you? Who was it?_" Christina says.

"_Oh, you know. Faceless … unidentifiable male,_" she pauses. "_How were your moths?_"

"_You promised you would never tell!_" Christina smacks her arm. _Ah, so this is Tris' revenge._

"_Moths. You're afraid of moths?_" I ask her.

"_Not just a cloud of moths, like … a _swarm _of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and …_" she shivers.

"_Terrifying. That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls,_" I mock her.

"_Oh, shut up._"

Suddenly a microphone squeals, we look across the room at Eric, who tapping the microphone in his hand while standing on one of the tables. Afterward the Dauntless crowd is quiet once the tapping is done, Eric begins his speech.

"_We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite._" Like you're not one of them. "_So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations._" The room erupts in cheers.

"_We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you._"

Even though he did not recite the Dauntless manifesto, I found myself grinning. At least some representatives go by rules.

"_Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked. That rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores – the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me._"

The names on the screen behind me appear as soon as he finishes his sentence, the screen is almost the size of the wall. As expected, Tris is number one.

**1. Tris**

**2. Uriah**

**3. Lynn**

**4. Marlene**

**5. Peter**

**6. Will**

**7. Christina**

I'm a bit disappointed but I'm actually happy that Peter is in fifth place. He will have to rethink his dream of being Dauntless-leader-in-training. A smile spreads on my face. Christina reaches across the table to hug Tris. Uriah comes to our table, grabs Tris from behind and shouts in her ear.

I'm not denying it. I never been this happy in my life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry everyone, the internet broke down. I didn't have internet access for one week. But I finished two chapters during this week. **

**This is where the AU twist is. Well, before I start to begin this fanfiction.**

**Hope you guys will like it!**

* * *

**Sleepwalking**

The fear landscape exhausted our minds, so we all fall asleep the minute we lie on our beds. With the rankings already determined, I can sleep with ease.

I wake to noisy movements. It's quite dark for me to see clearly what's going on, but once my eyes adjust itself, I see everyone in the dorm all move in a slow, synchronized and robotic-like pace. The room is silent. Christina bends over in an unnatural way to tie her shoelaces.

Something is not right.

I quickly get out my bed and dress up the same way as them to prevent any early suspicion. I hear Tris trying to get Christina's attention; I ignore the urge and temptation to tell her to act like she's not awake.

All the initiates form a line in front of the dormitory door, I follow. As we all move forward in unison, Tris grab my arm and tries to pull me back. I grit my teeth to move the same as other, I end up dragging her along with me. She releases my arm and dress up as fast as she can and then caught up behind me. I really hope there's no hint of humanness in my footsteps, because it will make me stand out. I want to walk in my normal pace.

We march into the Pit, where every Dauntless is standing in a circuit. Dauntless leaders each stand in the spaces between each line, observing everyone's movement. My heart throbs and I stare at the head of the person in front of me, not daring to blink. My insides tense up as I pass Max.

His eyes pass me.

There are rows of tables with piles of black long objects on them. Judging by the way the people who are holding it, I found out what they are. Guns.

Everyone was injected yesterday. Therefore the entire faction is going into combat without knowing what they are doing. Ideal soldiers.

The previous line of members stand along one of the rows of tables on their right, picks up a gun, and rests it across their chest.

"_They really can't see us? Or hear us?_" a female voice asks.

"_Oh, they can see and hear. They just aren't processing what they see and hear the same way. They receive commands from our computers in the transmitters we injected them with, and carry them out seamlessly,_" a familiar voice says. Eric.

We're all under the simulation developed by the Erudite, where every part of our body is controlled by a transmitter.

Then a person walks into the Pit like he just woke up from his sleep. He asks his fellows around him what's going on. He's awake.

"_Divergent,_" I hear Max say. Eric walks up to the person, "_Don't worry, everything is going to be fine._" And he was shot in the head, he falls on the ground. Dead.

My insides shudder and the hair on my back stands up. I force myself to stare forward and walk in the same rhythm.

The line of people walks into a pitch black hallway, where I can only follow by the sound of marching. We walk up a flight of stairs and climb into the train one by one. So far, all the people who are awake are Dauntless leaders. My eyes burn because I can't blink all I want; I can't rub them either.

Everyone in the car stands neatly in rows, shoulder-to-shoulder. It's kind of a rare and odd sight because Dauntless isn't meticulous, or organized. If we were to be on the trains, they would be all over the place. People sitting down, people standing up, people leaning against the walls, people dangling their feet outside of the train, and people gripping the poles.

This is absolutely abnormal.

The train stops behind a group of buildings, we walk out one by one, robotically. We walk around the buildings and I see dozens of small and square houses. Abnegation dwellings.

_My sister helped Jeanine developed a long lasting simulation serum. _The thought echoes in my mind. I didn't think the serum is used for this purpose; controlling an entire faction without them noticing. I assume it would be for the Dauntless initiation. Not this.

The street is full of Dauntless, marching at the same rhythm. Excluding the officers that stand ever few hundred yards, watching our every move or gathering for a meeting. Nothing happens as we flood into the neighborhood.

I hear a pop sound, and doors slammed open. Their doors are never locked. I see Abnegation dragged out of their homes, confusion and questions rise from their mouths; demanding for an answer. But we are not awake, we can't respond, we are controlled by computers.

Ahead of me, an Abnegation man is questioning what are we doing and why, the Dauntless soldier that dragged him out of his home shoots him in his skull. I recognize him as a council member, I clench my teeth from shaking as I walk pass his fallen body. Abnegation members and children are gathered in clusters along one of the houses, Dauntless soldiers surround them, guarding.

I want to kill Jeanine so bad right now. I want to kill her because of her greedy actions.

The person in front of me walks into a house beside us; I follow him in and drag the members out from their hiding spots. I really hope the Abnegation members can't recognize my abnormal movements compare to the soldiers that came in.

When I walk out of the house, I hear a commotion behind the building I was in. A few Dauntless soldiers run to the commotion and point their guns at two people in my peripheral vision.

"_Divergent rebels. Surrender your weapons,_" I hear Eric say. Divergent rebels? They're not wiped out back in the compound? If not why did they show themselves?

Tris and Four are dragged into one of the houses by Dauntless soldiers. I follow them pretending to stand guard. There are no Dauntless leaders here, so I stand outside the doors, guarding. I shift myself a little closer to the doors so I can hear the conversation inside.

"_Divergent rebels,_" a person say.

"_Yes, I can see that,_" a female voice say, it's cold and emotionless. Jeanine Matthews. My hands shake from refraining to slam the door open and shoot her in the head. "You, _I expected. All the trouble with your aptitude test results made me suspicious from the beginning. But _you…" She pauses.

"_You, Tobias –or should I call you Four? – managed to elude me,_" she speaks quietly. Four's real name is Tobias? Tris was a big target since the beginning? "_Everything about you checked out: test results, initiation simulations, everything. But here you are nonetheless. Perhaps you could explain to me how that is?_"

"_You're the genius. Why don't you tell me?_" says Four, calmly.

"_My theory is that you really do belong in Abnegation. That your Divergence is weaker._"

"_Your powers of deductive reasoning are stunning. Consider me awed. Now that your intelligence has been verified, you might want to get on with killing us. You have a lot of Abnegation leaders to murder, after all._"

"_Don't be silly. There is no rush. You are both here for an extremely important purpose. You see, it perplexed me that the Divergent were immune to the serum that I developed, so I have been working to remedy that. I thought I might have, with the last batch, but as you know, I was wrong. Luckily I have another batch to test._"

"_Why bother?_" Tris asks.

"_I have a question since I began the Dauntless project, it is this. Why are most of the Divergent weak-willed, God-fearing nobodies from the _Abnegation, _of all factions?_" Jeanine says.

Weak-willed, sure. Selfless people aren't weak-willed. They value everyone around them and they would do anything to help others; even if it means to fight. In one of the documents on Divergents, most of them came from Abnegation, but there's no clear answer to why is that.

"_Weak-willed,_" scoffs Four. "_It requires a _strong _will to manipulate a simulation, last time I checked. Weak-willed is mind-controlling an army because it's too hard for you to train one yourself. _"

"_I am not a fool. A faction of intellectuals is no army. We are tired of being dominated by a bunch of self-righteous idiots who reject wealth and advancement, but we couldn't do this on our own. And your Dauntless leaders were all too happy to oblige me if I guaranteed them a place in our new, improved government._"

You cannot make a choice where only one faction is mentioned in it. Now you're the rebel of the government, Jeanine. If you make the factionless suffer in poverty, it's possible that there are no new members in the factions later in the future. How about letting the children of the factionless attend school and give them a choice to choose their own faction? That seems a reasonable choice to make rather than treating the factionless like a bunch of wild animals, searching the ground for food.

"_Improved,_" Four scoffs.

"_Yes, improved. Improved, and working toward a world in which people will live in wealth, comfort, and prosperity._"

"_At whose expense? All that wealth … doesn't come from nowhere._" Tris ask.

"_Currently, the factionless are a drain on our resources. As is Abnegation. I am sure that once the remains of your old faction are absorbed into the Dauntless army, Candor will cooperate and we will finally be able to get on with things._"

Factionless are a drain on our resources if we don't have them as a part of the society. What happens when there are no custodians or bus drivers in the society? And when everyone is controlled under a simulation, doing whatever you tell them to do. How that is improved, Jeanine?

"_Get on with things. Make no mistake. You will be dead before the day is out, you –_" Four raises his voice, but Jeanine interrupts.

"_Perhaps if you could control your temper, you would not be in this situation to begin with, Tobias_."

"_I'm in this situation because you put me here. The second you orchestrated an attack against innocent people,_" Four snaps.

"_Innocent people._" She laughs. "_I find that a little funny, coming from you. I would expect Marcus's son to understand that not all those people innocent. Can you tell me honestly that you wouldn't be happy to discover that your father was killed in the attack? _"

I find myself shocked even though I do not care about my instructor's personal relationships. Especially the fact that Marcus is the representative of Abnegation and Four is his son.

"_No. But at least his evil didn't involve the widespread manipulation of an entire faction and the systematic murder of every political leader we have._"

She didn't respond. The silence is long enough to make me tempted to say, "Are you out of words, Jeanine?" Then she clears her throat.

"_What I was going to say is that soon, dozens of the Abnegation and their young children will be my responsibility to jeep in order, and it does not bode well for me that a large number of them may be Divergent like yourselves, incapable of being controlled by the simulations._"

I hear her walk a few steps. "_Therefore, it was necessary that I develop a new form of simulation to which they are not immune. I have been forced to reassess my own assumptions. That is where you come in._" She walks a set of steps. "_You are correct to say that you are strong-willed. I cannot control your will. But there are a few things I can control_."

That doesn't sound good. It's possible that she already created a new type of simulation serum. One that I can't resist either.

"_I can control what you see and hear, so I created a new serum that will adjust your surroundings to manipulate your will. Those who refuse to accept our leadership must be closely monitored,_" she says.

Yup, thought so. But if she wants the Divergent completely wiped out, she possibly has to kill every Abnegation children there is. Before she has that chance, she will have to deal with other consequences. She will need to search other factions as well, including her own faction.

"_You will be the first test subject, Tobias. Beatrice, however… _" I hear a groan. Tris. "_You are too injured to be of much use to me, so your execution will occur at the conclusion of this meeting._"

"_No,_" Four's voice trembles. "_I would rather die._"

"_I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice in the matter,_" Jeanine replies lightly.

There's no way I'm going to let everything her way. That's like handling a weapon to the wrong person. I want to storm in, but I will be the next victim. Thinking of it, there are about four guards in there, and she will know my Divergence the second I go in there. And I have no reasonable plan.

I hear shuffling, movement, and sounds of the fight. Jeanine coughs like she got strangled by someone. Then it stops, a cry escapes from Tris.

"_Let him up,_" Jeanine says with a scratchy voice.

"_Tobias. Tobias!_" says Tris.

"_He doesn't know you._"

Then there was movement, and this time Tris is choking. She coughs.

"_The simulation manipulates him. By altering what he sees – making him confuse enemy with friend,_" Jeanine explains. Tris wheezes. "_The advantage to this version of the simulation is that he can act independently, and is therefore far more effective than a mindless soldier._"

The door opens, and they walk out. Two guards guide Four to Jeanine's car, the other two guides Tris somewhere else. Instead of guiding her, it's like they're dragging her like a rag doll against the pavement.

"_Send him to the control room. We'll start a sentient being there to monitor things and, as I understand it, he used to work there,_" Jeanine says to the guards before she sets off.

* * *

I try to follow the guards that are dragging Tris to her execution, but I cannot catch up with my robotic pace. Soon after, I was standing in the middle of the area where no one is around and I'm walking independently. I search for a group of people to blend in.

There's a group of 7 tall sleepwalkers. I walk the same pace as them and then they start to run towards the streets. Even their running is robotic and I couldn't copy the same as them. I desperately hope their height and number will hide me.

The group breaks into half and I follow the group of 3 to make it even. They start shooting and one of them got shot in the chest. They still run, I still follow them.

I have no idea what we are targeting till I noticed someone in black running independently. She's drenched. Her hair is dirty blonde, pulled back into a ponytail. From far away, her right arm is dyed red by blood.

Tris.

My hand squeezes the gun tightly, but it shakes violently. I can't kill her; I have no point of killing her. I cannot kill her. I have to let her live. I can't sacrifice my identity either. I can't.

She throws herself around the corner, using the brick wall protect herself. She fires blindly, it hits the other two people. I can't shoot her.

There's only me now.

She sits up, holding the gun out with both hands, and aims at me. Her eyes widen. She didn't pull the trigger. I walk as robotically as I can, and keep my face in the same expressionless and blank look.

"Will!" she shouts.

_Shoot me._

I stop, lift the gun like a robot and aim at her. I slide the bullet into the chamber. I shoot at the brick wall beside her. She dodges. I grip my gun so hard my knuckles turn white. She aims the gun at me again.

"Will! Will! Please stop!" she shouts again.

_Pull the trigger already. Just shoot me! I would rather die!_

She hesitates.

_Just do it! I can't take it anymore._

She closes her eyes shut.

I hear a bang.

* * *

**I will post the next chapter tomorrow. =D Please follow!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I hope I can finish at least 3 or 4 chapters by Labour Day. **

**Thank you very much!**

* * *

**Awake**

I open my eyes. I see nothing but white light. Is this what they say that if you see white light, you're dead? If it is, I'm dead. Killed by my own friend. My Abnegation and selfless friend. She still chose herself over her friend, even though she's taught to be selfless.

But it's good for the society to not know of my existence. One of Jeanine's targets are down, she will feel grateful for that.

Suddenly, someone appeared in front of me. My vision is too blurry for me to see the features. But her light hair and head shape is familiar. Too familiar. I shut my eyes.

"_Will! Will!_" a voice speaks. I open my eyes again, her clothes are blue. It's not her.

"_Will!_"

But I can't respond. I can only hear and see unclearly. I can't move a muscle. I can't even turn my head.

I gradually go unconscious as the voice keep calling my name.

"_Someone help! There's an emergency!_"

I wake up. I feel very stiff and dizzy, my vision gradually adjusts till it's clear.

I see hospital fluorescent lights above me, white walls, green curtains, and I lie in a hospital bed that's slightly elevated. That's all I can see and feel. I can't move my body, except my legs and hands. My chest is wrapped in white fabric. I feel pain in my right shoulder, but I'm too distracted to notice the intensity of it.

The door opens and an Erudite walks in. My sister. I guess I'm in the Erudite medical hospital.

"Glad to see you awake," Cara says. She sounds relieved. She closes the door behind her.

"How long was I unconscious?" I ask.

"About 72 hours." Three days, I see. I heave a sigh, I'm not dead. She pulls a chair against the wall and sets it beside the bed.

"What happened? How did I end up here?"

"It's rather a long story." She tightly grips the backseat.

"I'll listen, it's not like I'm in the rush in my current condition."

She laughs a bit. "Alright." She sits down. "You were shot near your collarbone, I found you unconscious on the streets along with other Dauntless soldiers. They are sent here, undergoing operations. Well, not all of them. That –"

"So I'm the only one that survived?"

"Yes. I'm not done explaining yet. That Dauntless transfer from Abnegation, daughter of an Abnegation council member, shot you. She escaped from the execution room and got away."

"I'm aware of that. No need to remind me." I look away from her.

"I'm saying that because she's a Divergent."

"And you think I'm dumb?"

"No."

"Then why mention it?"

"Because you're putting yourself in danger." I stare at her. "You made yourself one of her friends that know her very well. Jeanine has no hesitation to get any information on Divergents, even if it means tormenting people just to get information."

"Then you're saying you're in danger as well, if that's what you mean." I mumbled. She wears a confused look. After I see the gears shifting and turning, she realizes what I'm trying to tell her.

"So you're telling me…" I nod. She looks down. "Great…"

The silence is uncomfortable. I really wish I can move right now to be able to move; to be able to get out of here. Her expression looks like she's hesitant about something.

"But I gotta say, your friend is really something."

"What do you mean?"

"She stopped the simulation the day you got shot. Some of Abnegation was saved and they fled to the Amity now. But the Dauntless soldiers woke up as murderers aiming at Abnegation, including the children. The faction broke up into two: those who are loyal to Erudite, Dauntless-traitors, and those who are loyal to their own faction."

"So am I considered a Dauntless-traitor?"

"No, I got you here. Not the others." She pauses. "You're alive and free because the doctors here don't know what's going on, yet. Besides, I believe only the Erudite knows how to operate surgeries properly, since we have the right equipment and people to do so. An injury like that, well, you can die. Also you were an Erudite after all." There's some anger in her words, like she's tutoring an idiot.

"But I left this faction. And you allow me to come back here?"

"I don't have much choice! I can't leave you die from blood loss. Our parents were killed." My eyes widen and I shot up from my position, but that brought pain to my shoulder. I let out a groan, straining, and fell back down. Cara gets up from her seat. "Don't, that will make it worst!"

I close my eyes shut. That fact hit me hard, compare to getting shot. Our parents were killed; they are dead. I was injured physically, now mentally. I see tears gathering in her eyes, my vision starts to become blurry with it as well. She looks away as they fall. Our mother and father disappeared from this world. We only have ourselves now.

I did not want to ask this question but I'm dying to hear the answer. I need to know, I have a right to know.

"Why were they killed?"

"I was helping Jeanine to develop a long-lasting simulation serum. In the process, I realized her real intentions of using the simulation serum for. The faction is completely under Jeanine's control, those who are against her are executed. Since my parents knew her intentions, they are questioned by Jeanine herself." Her shoulders start to shake. Her voice wavers. "No one else knows Jeanine's intentions and no one should, the ones who work for her only knows her plans. Therefore, she put them under the death serum." She covers her mouth to hold back a sob.

"Jeanine... What are her intentions?"

"She's using the simulation to control everyone in the society and wipe out the Abnegation members and factionless. To control everyone under the simulation, she also will use it to kill every Divergent there is." Cara's voice cracks.

I sigh. "I'm not that surprised." She looks at me. "One night, Jeanine came to the Dauntless compound to talk to one of the Dauntless leaders. I accidentally eavesdropped on their conversation. She's hunting down the Divergents starting with Dauntless. Before I got shot, I eavesdropped on her again when she caught two Divergents from the Dauntless army during the invasion.

"She plan to create an "improved" government, where people will live in wealth, comfort, and prosperity. Since Abnegation and the factionless are a "drain" on resources, she will remove them out of the equation. Once she kills off every council member, she will test on the Abnegation children since most of the Divergents are from Abnegation. She created a new simulation serum that controls what we see and hear that manipulates our will. It makes our friends into enemies, and enemies into friends. She will use that on the Divergents. And to quote Jeanine: "those who refuse to accept our leadership must be closely monitored"." _There's not much I can do about this…_

"We can't stay here for long." She wipes away the moisture on her cheeks.

"Am I allowed to move?" I know my injury can't heal properly if I'm not supposed to move it. Even though I was in here for 3 days and my legs aren't affected, I need to make sure.

"You're allowed to move on your feet, but you're not allowed to move your dominant arm a lot as you can see."

"Is there an arm brace? It will be a lot easier."

She rolls her eyes and sighs like that was the most obvious. "Can you sit up and hold your arm in place?"

I position my right arm across my chest, grasping my left shoulder, and I keep it secure by holding on to the elbow. I sit up, straining. She searches one of the cupboards and found an arm brace. She helps me secure the brace. When I got up from the bed, I then realized something. I'm wearing the pants I wore since the simulation, I'm barefooted, and my upper body is bare. If I leave this building, I will be noticed immediately. Before I can tell Cara, she holds a pile of blue clothes in her hand. I stare at her with my eyes wide.

"Thank you," I thanked her. Well, she's my sister after all.

"I know you can't get anywhere with those clothes and you won't be able to run or walk in certain places because you're barefoot. So I hid a pile of your old clothes, in case anything happens. You need to blend in you know."

I nod. I slowly change into a white short-sleeved dress shirt and wore a navy blue jacket, covering most of my arm. It took a bit longer for me to change my pants. It's been a while since I wore blue; it feels like I never made a choice before at the Choosing Ceremony. But I know I did. Now Dauntless is broken, where the members are scattered throughout the society.

"Where do we go?" I ask Cara.

"Amity. It seems like the best option right now. I can't stay here anymore." Because we're the next victim to the death serum. Amity will offer peace to whomever asks for it, especially Erudite since both the Amity and Erudite are essential factions and they have a strong relationship.

"How do we get pass the Dauntless security?"

"I've always got a plan, you know," she taps her temple.


End file.
